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Narcissistic Abuse: From Victim to Survivor in 6 Steps
By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited"
You have been abused, maltreated, harrassed, and stalked.
You feel that you fell prey to a narcissist or psychopath.
But, you must move on from victim to ... Views: 34
By Sam Vaknin
Author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited"
The narcissist cursed - or blessed - with mental X-ray vision. He sees through people's emotional shields, their petty lies, their pitiable defences, their grandiose fantasies. He knows when they deviate from the truth and ... Views: 63
If you have been abused as a child in any way and this affects your confidence, first of all recognize that the love has to come from you. This is hard, if you have been trained by parents/guardians/people in authority that you were not lovable. Of course, this is to justify their abusive ... Views: 103
It is often said that abuse is passed down from one generation to another and it can be hard for people to understand why this happens. However, the next generation are not the only ones who can end up being abused; it is also something that can affect the people who the abuser comes into ... Views: 82
When one is unable to let go, they’re going to end up using their energy to hold onto what they no longer need. And as they no longer need what they’re holding onto, it is not going to affect their ability to receive anything new.
What one is holding onto no longer has a purpose and it is ... Views: 123
The narcissist constructs a narrative of his life that is partly confabulated and whose purpose is to buttress, demonstrate, and prove the veracity of the fantastically grandiose and often impossible claims made by the False Self. This narrative allocates roles to significant others in the ... Views: 163
When someone has been abused as a child they have already gone through enough, without having to prolong the pain of what happened. However, there are certain things that can add to this pain and one of these things is when one finds that the people around them don’t believe them or it could ... Views: 124
There is ritual sexual abuse and there is ritualized sexual abuse. The terms are sometimes interchanged, but for the purpose of this article I am delineating between the two as Ritual Sexual Abuse being cult or cult-like abuse in which “the abuse has a spiritual or social goal” (David Finkelhor, ... Views: 133
This week I've been working with how much courage it takes, for those who are people-pleasers , to be authentic. It's a fact that you can't set a boundary to take care of yourself, and take care of the other person's feelings at the same time. For many, the prohibition against hurting someone ... Views: 204
An Oscar-nominated documentary called “The Invisible War” tackles the seemingly taboo subject of rape and sexual assault in the military. ABC News covered a quick story of the documentary and featured three women who bravely volunteered their personal stories of being raped while enlisted in the ... Views: 141
Intimate personal violence, which is similar to domestic violence, affects an estimated 12 million people, both men and women, per year. That is according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s website, where plenty of similarly shocking statistics can be found. For instance, “more than 1 ... Views: 151
The U.S. Department of Veterans’ Affairs reports that one in five combat veterans develops Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, either during or shortly after combat. The Mayo Clinic defines PTSD as having three main categories of symptoms: “re-experiencing symptoms,” “avoidance symptoms,” ... Views: 239
The Grand Jury file on reports filed against Sandusky in the Penn State Sex abuse scandal illustrates some of the most egregious rationalizing (right up there with the Catholic Church's sexual abuse of children) in our country. There are some people involved who attempted to do the right thing ... Views: 197
Contrary to misinformation spread by "experts" online, covert narcissists are not cunning and manipulative. Classic narcissists are: they often disguise their true nature effectively, knowingly, and intentionally. They are persistent actors with great thespian skills. Not so the covert ... Views: 187
For several years, the VA has been under fire for repeated instances of negligence. Reports released by CBS in 2013 revealed that medical professionals associated with the VA prescribed 259% more narcotics than in 2002, and that individualized therapy had fallen by the wayside. An affiliate of ... Views: 168
"You must do the things you think you can't do." Eleanor Roosevelt
There are women all over the world risking their lives to become educated. We must support them. How can we do that? We must begin to lift the veil of unconsciousness. We can't pretend the emotional/physical abuse that is ... Views: 184
When someone is abused as a child, it is highly likely that they are going to have trouble feeling safe in life. This would have been something that they first experienced when they were growing up and something that has stayed with them throughout their adult years.
So for some people, it ... Views: 166
“It comes from saying No to 1000 things to make sure we don’t get on the wrong track or try to do to much.” Steve Jobs
Are you beginning to see where we need our tools, ability to say No, ability to make requests, ability to speak our truth in order be a good leader, and in order to be able ... Views: 267
From the moment someone is born, their mother has incredible power over them. She has the power to build them up or the power to tear them down. Ideally, one would have had a mother who was: loving, supportive and kind, for instance. But there are also people out there who had the complete ... Views: 252
Do you ever practice or feel trapped in the practice of victim mentality? If so, it’s time to understand some of what’s going on so that you can muster the courage to shift this and live a healthier life.
Author Rebecca L. Norrington writes in her soon-to-be-published book, ... Views: 231
Do you have an addiction you simply can’t seem to get rid of? Try these techniques to help you boost success:
Improve your mental and physical health
It takes mental stamina and physical health to prevent relapsing. Trying to fight off an addiction is very draining mentally and physically. ... Views: 309
How would you know if you were the only sane person in an insane asylum? Now imagine yourself as a child with no prior knowledge of what is sane or normal. How would a child know if they were a sane person in a family with disturbed parents?
A significant part of the trauma of growing up ... Views: 256
We’ve probably all seen a parent impatiently talking in angry, disrespectful, condescending, tones to a child. WE might have been that parent at one time or another.
Did you know that by talking in disrespectful ways to yourself or others the interaction can leave negative imprints on the ... Views: 234
When someone has experienced some kind of abuse as a child and this could be physical emotional, verbal or sexual, there is often the need to recover as fast as possible. To look for the answers and to find the solution or solutions that will make everything better.
This is natural and must ... Views: 244
There are many forms of bullying around today and some of these are more overt than others. At times, this is done in a way that is so subtle, that it can take place without anyone even noticing.
And while bullying has taken place for many, many years, and is nothing new, the internet has ... Views: 235
There are some emotions that are seen as ‘bad’ or ‘negative’ and while this might be the case if they are shown in certain situations, this is not going to apply in others. Every emotion has purpose and a reason for appearing; this not to say that one should act upon every emotion that arises ... Views: 291
To be abused as a child is going to have the potential to cause all kinds of problems and these problems are unlikely to just end there. They could end up affecting this person for the rest of their adult life. And to what degree their adult life is affected will depend on many factors.
... Views: 237
When someone experiences some kind of abuse in their adult relationships, there is often the chance that they will identify with one of two outlooks. They can either see that this abuse is a reflection of what took place during their childhood or they can come to the conclusion that their ... Views: 286
Just because someone has experienced some kind of abuse or has had to endure some other kind of pain, it doesn’t mean that they have been able to move on from it. Because although one could be innocent and have nothing to do with what happened, as in the case of child abuse, it doesn’t mean that ... Views: 257
While one can have grown into an adult and therefore left their childhood behind them, it doesn’t mean that they have completely moved on from those early years. Ones childhood influences them in ways that are obvious and in ways that are more or less oblivious.
It is a time that plays a ... Views: 286
It makes perfect sense for me as an Energy Psychologist, that when approaching an autoimmune case in a natural, wholistic way, where an individual’s body is starting to work against itself, that I discover somewhere in that person a deep feeling of deserving to be hurt - an unworthiness to be ... Views: 643
Although each one of us has a body, it doesn’t mean that everyone feels that it is safe to be in their body. It might even sound confusing as to how this could be; especially as one’s body is a big part of who they are.
Instead of one being in their body, what they can end up doing is living ... Views: 258
Patients afflicted with the Factitious Disorder colloquially known as “Munchausen Syndrome” seek to attract the attention of medical personnel by feigning or by self-inflicting serious illness or injury. “Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome” (Factitious Illness or Disorder by Proxy, or Imposed by ... Views: 339
Most of us believe in the circle of life it stands for reason because that makes sense. We are born we grow and then we leave this world. For each of us it’s a completely different path that we walk. We may enter into each other’s lives for many different reasons, each time our life’s are either ... Views: 251
Let's begin with the statistics - and they are daunting:
Approx. 1 in 4 girls & 1 in 8 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18. Even the most conservative estimates put it at 1 in 6 girls & 1 in 10 boys.
It is estimated that as many as 40 million Americans - one in six people - ... Views: 277
I am reminded of a young African-American child who was raised under strict family rules. During the early teen years from middle school and throughout high school, this kid was smart yet shy and often picked on and bullied by fellow classmates and even other children in the neighborhood where ... Views: 203
Our environments are all that matters. The people in it have a direct impact on the quality of our lives. Ways to ensure a life free from abuse and torment, is to clean out your environment. No matter how small or insignificant the interactions may be, we must always be aware that everything ... Views: 135
This question used to be at the forefront of my mind, imbedded so deeply that there seemed to be no escaping the powerful emotions that it evoked. When did it start? Why was I born this way? How could I stop the terrible things going on all around me I was hurting so many people. Maybe the ... Views: 232
When it comes to Drug Rehabs, it joins your ideal interests to seriously take into consideration going to one of the several long term drug rehab centers presently out there. By doing this, you will certainly be providing on your own a better chance of controlling your dependence not only now, ... Views: 239
The little girl with no needs. The little boy who takes care of mom. Premature maturity, is in fact, no escape from having needs or needing to be taken care of. It is not an escape from being a child, and it is in fact, not often maturity at all. Premature maturity is something else more ... Views: 517
Healing from an abusive relationship is one of the hardest things to do. Many people never truly heal, and thus stay a victim for the rest of their life. Learn how you can start the healing process to become a better you! Healing from an abusive relationship is one of the hardest things to ... Views: 363
Healing from an abusive relationship is one of the hardest things to do. Many people never truly heal, and thus stay a victim for the rest of their life. Learn how you can start the healing process to become a better you! Healing from an abusive relationship is one of the hardest things to ... Views: 303
This is very common, so we should all understand what we are dealing with here. This is virus that once you have been exposed, it takes over your body and effects you to the point of near death. We should all think of this like the plague. It can happen to anyone if you get close ... Views: 293
Constantly leaving and being persuaded back into the trap of an abusive relationship is a cycle that needs to stop, and you can stop right now. This cycle will not end until you completely end all contact with your partner. Do not under estimate the power they have over you, and stop ... Views: 330
Right off the bat that must sound like such a selfish thing to say, why would I wish what had happened to me on my siblings? But it’s an age-old question that hunted me for many years. Did I do something wrong? Was it because I miss behaved? Surly not I only acted that way to get noticed. If I ... Views: 355
The Secret Life of a Feminist
The story of O was my bedside companion from the time of my first sexual encounters until I left my husband, thirty-five years later. A liberated woman, I never understood my fascination with the book.
The story of O describes the ... Views: 196
This is a topic near and dear to my heart, and today I was struggling for a quick and easy topic to write about, and Psych Central had an article about emotional abuse that was perfect!
Did you know emotional abuse is much more elusive than physical abuse and sexual abuse? That the people ... Views: 289
Physical abuse isn’t the only type of abuse that one suffers from in relationships. Sometimes, Mental and Emotional Abuse can be as worse as someone having the audacity to put their hands on you. With Emotional and Mental Abuse, the person attempts to tear you down through repeated personal ... Views: 553
The narcissist depends on his coterie for Narcissistic Supply. He resents this addictive dependence and himself for being so frail and impotent. It negates his self-delusional grandiose fantasy of omnipotence.
To compensate for this shameful neediness, the narcissist holds his sycophantic ... Views: 607
Q. Would narcissists often try to restrict their partner's independence by reducing their access to shared family finances? Why?
A. Narcissists are control freaks, paranoid, jealous, possessive, and envious. They are the sad products of early childhood abandonment by parents, caregivers, role ... Views: 564