I make healthier choices when I act with compassion towards myself.

Here’s one simple step to better self talk now. Gently urge yourself to respond to the present moment by saying, “Now give compassion to yourself!

I find this is especially useful before any kind of problem solving.

In fact, adding a brief pause to focus on breathing makes this one step even more effective.

Being compassionate towards others sometimes comes more naturally than being compassionate to yourself. After all, one way people learn is by seeing others model a behavior. Yet you don’t get to see people with their positive self talk – or observe the impact negative self talk may have on someone else.

Yes, people learn by being aware of other people’s behaviors. Seeing a behavior modeled makes that behavior easier for you to copy. When you notice another person who see suffering, you’re probably able to respond with compassion. Because you learned how. You saw it modelled. In fact, you may find that it’s easier to speak kindly to others, reassuring them and encouraging them, than it is to speak kindly to yourself.

Because there are times when your own situation can feel overwhelming, you might not be in the habit of encouraging yourself. I find that in overwhelming moments, habits are useful. Having a habit of reminding yourself to give compassion to yourself can help you choose positive self talk.

Otherwise? You might not even recognize the need for compassion for yourself!

Consider this: the encouragement you give to others is vital. You make a difference in other people’s world when you act with compassion. For example, your encouragement creates good feelings. It can lead to motivation for many things in life. That tends to give people hope and a willingness to dare to act.

You can get that encouragement for yourself. Where? From yourself! You can be kind to yourself. You can notice when you’re suffering. You can choose to respond with compassion. You can take specific actions. You can be kind to yourself.

I encourage you to begin a new habit today. How? You’ll have to practice in a small way. It’s like learning anything in life. For example, notice your life right now. Pay attention to some way in which you are suffering.
What’s bothering you most, here and now? Something that you would prefer were different in your life. One of the pains in your life. Identify some type of pain you’re experiencing. For example, you might choose to focus on a physical pain, an emotional pain, a relationship pain, or financial pain.

Notice how you feel about that pain. Be aware of what it’s like right now, to have that be part of your life. Be aware of how difficult it is. Say to yourself that you notice how hard that is. Care for yourself by acknowledging the difficulty. Notice that anyone would find that situation to be difficult. Acknowledge that you’re experiencing feelings anyone would struggle with.

Be kind to yourself. Gently encourage yourself. Talk to yourself, deep inside. For example, observe that you’re going through a difficulty. Recognize that’s what’s happening for you now. And that it’s hard. Then take a concrete, small physical action.

Here’s a suggested one which you may need to adjust if these motions don’t fit for your physical ability. If you’re able to do so comfortably, cross your arms in front of you. Cup the palm of your hands, placing them on your upper arms or shoulders. Now, with your arms and hands in place, hold on. Gently. Yes, simply give yourself a hug.

Console yourself by tenderly rubbing your hands up and down, just a little bit, on your arms. Say to yourself this pain is difficult and I’m getting through it one little bit at a time. Add other words that are compassionate, that recognize your pain and your effort to move forward.

Sometimes a little bit of encouragement, in recognizing a difficulty, can open your heart. That helps you to relax and to believe in yourself. Believing in yourself helps you to move forward. Believing in yourself helps you to make whatever changes you need to make.

Do you want to make healthier choices for better self talk now? Then find your own little ways of getting in the habit of reminding yourself, “Now give compassion to yourself!”

Author's Bio: 

Cynthia Ann Leighton inspires you, encouraging you to keep moving forward.

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