10 Habits for a Healthy Relationship

A relationship is a partnership capable of enhancing every aspect of your life, emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually and sexually. Each couple is different and there are no hard and fast rules to a healthy relationship. The key is for both partners to invest time and effort in keeping the relationship strong, vibrant and moving forward. A healthy relationship needs to be active, dynamic and engaging; apathy, lethargy and stagnation are the kiss of death. Here are 10 habits you can adopt into your relationship to keep it healthy and strong.

1. Be each other’s best cheerleader.

Feeling supported by your beloved helps instill the confidence and self-esteem to try new things. As your partner’s cheerleader, you’re on their side whether they succeed or fail. Being supportive through the failures will be the most challenging. It’s important to avoid acting on the impulse to fix anything or make it better for them. Compassion, understanding, respect and open communication are essential to being a good cheerleader.

2. Have a common dream you share.

Sharing your hopes and dreams with your partner is important, especially the ones you have in common. A shared dream must feel good and inspiring to both of you. What you work on together has more than double the power than if you were doing it alone. Keep your dream alive and present in your thoughts as you share ideas and possibilities. Take care of it like a precious child.

3. Say I love you love every day.

Words have power and there is no greater power than love. Saying “I love you” communicates far more than three words. It speaks of acceptance, respect, admiration and so much more. Send emails, text messages and what’s apps. Write poetry and leave little “I love you” notes laying around for your beloved to find. Saying it often keeps both your hearts, joyous, open and full.

4. Touch each other often.

A physical touch can communicate far more than words ever could. Touch makes us feel wanted, supported, comforted, nurtured and connected. Give yourselves permission to touch each other as often as possible. Cuddle, snuggle, hold hands, hug and play footsie under the table. If you’re daring, try groping each other in the check-out line at the grocery store.

5. Feed each other’s love expression.

There are five primary ways we feel and express love. They are physical, verbal, actions, gifting and quality time. For some, words of affection touch their hearts, while others feel loved when they receive gifts. Your partner may love physical touch or they could enjoy receiving gifts as tokens of your love. Your partner might be the type of person who needs to spend quality time with you. When our primary way of being loved is satisfied, we feel nourished, cared for and respected. Find out what makes your beloved feel loved and feed your beloved with it at least once a day.

6. In all arguments, you’re both right and you’re both wrong.

Arguing is a natural and healthy component of a relationship. It helps bring things out in the open so the issue can be dealt with and resolved. Don’t let things slip by because you’re afraid of getting into a fight. There is nothing more destructive to a relationship than a pile of unresolved issues. Agree to listen to each other without trying to make yourself right and making them wrong. The other person's point of view is just as valid as yours. If you respect each others point of view, you will learn to find the common ground or at least agree to disagree with no hurt feelings or resentment.

7. Make time for each other daily.

You entered the relationship because you wanted to spend more time together, so make sure you continually satisfy this need. It could be for as little as 10 or 15 minutes or a whole weekend getaway. As busy and demanding as other parts of our lives can be, our relationship needs to be as important as anything else, so make time for each other everyday. It’s imperative to remove all distractions like cell phones or pets or kids or TV. You don’t even need to talk and if you do, keep it personal about the just the two of you.

8. Don’t rescue your partner, listen to them instead.

There is nothing more crippling to a relationship than stepping in and rescuing your partner. All you’re really doing is denying them an opportunity to learn and grow. Whenever you want to rescue your partner, listen instead. Find out what they need, then support and empower them to fulfill their own needs. This may not only mean challenging them to stretch themselves beyond their comfort zone but it will stretch your own as well. 

9. Never do anything for your beloved with resentment or obligation.

One of the most difficult and yet important words to say to your beloved is “no”. Believing we have to say yes all the time can make us feel forced, victimized and even controlled by our partner. Doing something for our partner out of obligation can build a wall of resentment between us. It’s OK to say no if we communicate honestly with each other. We must talk about our feelings, concerns, preferences, likes, dislikes and find the resolution together. Look for alternatives and make agreements designed to work for both of you.

10. Stay passionate and make love often.

Let your sex life together, be beautiful, natural and fulfilling. Don’t let anything get in the way of nourishing your sexual bond. Deepen your sexual intimacy by learning about each other’s carnal pleasures, fantasies and preferences. Keep the spark burning brightly, by sharing the things that turn you on and taking turns satisfying them. The more you feed the flame of sexual passion the more exciting and fulfilling the relationship will be on all levels.

Author's Bio: 

If I were to describe myself with one word I would have to say I’m an artist, which means that I seek to find the beauty in everything I see and experience. Teaching a group of students, leading a ceremony, having a conversation, cooking a meal and making love are all artistic expressions of one’s beauty. The greatest of these expressions is to live life as the greatest masterpiece one could ever create.

For over two decades, I have been weaving beauty into my own life as well as empowering others to do the same for themselves by applying my multifaceted skills and mastery as an accomplished international teacher, human behaviour specialist, counsellor, writer, ceremonialist and artist. I believe we are all born with the spirit of the Eagle, destined to soar in freedom and to share our unique beauty with the world.