Why do some people feel bad when they gain weight while others appear not to care about that? Of course everybody cares about his appearance to a certain extent but what determines your emotional response to your weight changes are your beliefs.

If a girl believed that she is very slim then gaining weight would make her feel better while if a girl believed that she is obese then gaining weight might make her feel bad.

But there is something missing about the previous statement, if the girl doesn’t believe that there is any relationship between her looks and the ability to be loved by her friends then she might not feel bad at all even if she gained a lot of weight.

In short, our self confidence doesn’t get affected because of the external factors that we get subjected to but rather because of the combination of our beliefs and these external factors.

If you believe that you must get straight As in order to become worthy then you might feel really bad if you got only one B among your grades while if you don’t believe that there is any relationship between grades and self worth then you might not feel bad even if you got straight Cs.

The important conclusion you must come out with after reading this part is that in order to feel self confident you should either:

1) Fix your beliefs
2) Change your self

Back to the grades example, solution one would be fixing your beliefs about the connection between the relationship between self worth and grades while solution two would be getting straight As.

The problem with solution 2 is that it won’t work in every case and even if it worked it might be the wrong choice. Simply in such a case striving for straight As and feeling bad if you didn’t get them might turn you into a perfectionist!!

That’s what you should be careful when deciding to use solution 2. Let me give you a good tip that would help you make your mind about the right method to use:

If your beliefs were not rational and not logical (like I must get straight As in order to be worthy) then work on changing your beliefs, else work on changing your life.

On the other hand, If you felt that you are not worthy because you didn’t manage to have a good career then you might want to work on developing your career.

Get prepared
Why do actors perform greatly in front of the camera?
Because they kept training hard and trying until they managed to reach that level of confidence.

People who perform on a stage train a lot before they appear on the stage.
Football players spend most of their lives training so that they perform well during the matches.

The same goes for social interaction, if you want to perform well then you must get prepared by getting enough training

Prepare the words you are going to say during a presentation
Rehearse them many times before you begin
Prepare the key points you are going to talk about when approaching a stranger

Self confidence is all about trusting the fact that you have trained enough to perform well, if you didn’t train at all then how would you want to find yourself feeling confident?

Author's Bio: 

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