3 Ways to Make Sure Your Press Release Passes the Orgasm Test

Your press release is like setting up a dating profile. It’s got to attract the right audience and get them to call. The media knows nothing about you. They read your profile, look at your picture, assess your background. Then they decide if you’re worth the time to set up a first date, then a second date and so on, before you can be regular bedfellows. Most press releases. like most dating profiles, stink.

The vast majority of press releases are filled with information that’s not relevant to a journalist or a producer.

How do I know? I’ve been on both ends of the proverbial stick. As a former publicist I quickly learned how to get journalists and producers to call me back – or just book my clients on the spot – from my press release. As a columnist for the Huffington Post and Psychology Today. I’ve had the misfortune of having to cull through hundreds of irrelevant responses to my queries for sources. It’s worse than being on match.com.

I shouldn’t have to say, “Don’t be a jerk.” Or, “Don’t toot your own horn like you’re in a traffic jam.” Or, “Don’t natter on about nothing for ages.” Or, “Don’t put up a photo of you that’s 10 years old that looks like your kid.” And I don’t want to blame it on your mama…but really!

Here are three ways to put some sexy in your press releases so the media put your on their calendar.

1. Be a little wicked.
Slavoj Zizek, the Slovenian philosopher and psychoanalyst, titled his documenter: The Pervert’s Guide To Cinema. Sure, it’s edgy. But who could resist opening an email with such a subject line. Your subject line is the teaser to get the media to OPEN your email. If they don’t open it, they don’t read it and you can’t get your message out. Don’t be afraid to be a little sexy. But also watch for spam words. You might need to say “Perv_rt’s” instead of “Pervert’s” so your email gets through to members of the media.

2. Orgasm first. Foreplay later.
You need to get to the point, the punchline, the kapow! first. Save the foreplay for later. What’s you’re point? Why is your story right at this moment in time? Why will it impact millions? Make it bodalicious like being in Woody Allen’s Orgasmatron. Remember that crazy machine? Once you’re in you don’t want to get out. Go big first, then give the sexy details in the afterglow once you’ve given the orgasm.

4. Show in the afterglow.
After the fireworks have subsided and the heavy breathing is at a normal pitch, now is the time to sell your other skills. What makes you better in bed than all the other guys competing for the job? Your bio should peacock your best qualities so you “get the girl”. Those qualities need to match what the journalist or producer is looking for at that moment. Tailor, tailor, tailor your qualifications to the job. Leave off any inessential award, skill, or experience that isn’t relevant to whatever topic you’re pitching.