You are not his/her words, though it doesn’t feel that way when you are being abused. On a very deep level, you believe those words of disregard, disapproval, disrespect…even the ones that are absolutely foul.
Yet, in a more surface way, you claim not to buy that trash. You know those are just his/her words. And you’ve heard that the verbal abuse showered upon you is not about you.
So how can you bring all of you aboard to no longer feel the blow of verbal emotional abuse after your abusive relationship?
Here are three keys to finding YOU underneath, behind and most definitely before the verbal emotional abuse.
1) Start with where you are now and find one thing about yourself that used to be a personal source of pride and nourishment. Then, bring this activity back into your daily routine.
2) When you hear the voice of personal disgust or find yourself kicking you as though you are picking up where he/she left off, catch yourself in the moment. Stop and ask, “Is that true?” Chances are there is another relevant, yet opposite thought that is as true if not more true for you.
3) Come to know the space between your thoughts where all is well. And let yourself bask in the utter fun of lingering in that satisfying, full sensation. This will be your easiest and also your most challenging mission.
Now I know that last key sounds like I threw you a contradiction, or shall I say an oxymoron. Possibly so. Your discovery will emerge out from easy, effortless bare attention, and your tendency to cling to noisy chatter may be relentless.
Over time and with practice, you will see how number two and number three work hand in hand, wherein you will find the YOU that resides within despite the verbal emotional abuse.
For more information about recognizing, coping and healing from verbal emotional abuse, I invite you to check out the new release on Emotional Verbal Abuse. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize, cope and heal from emotional and verbal abuse. Copyright 2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D. PreventAbusiveRelationships.com/emotional_verbal_abuse.php