4 Questions To Consider Before Saying "I Do"

"How do you know when you've met the right one?”

Almost everyone asks this question
at some point in their lives; unfortunately,
there are not too many
who get a concrete answer.
But if you're reading this article,
then you're one of the lucky few.

Interestingly, the criteria for
choosing a spouse can be reduced
to just four key characteristics.
If you can find somebody with all four
then it's highly likely
that you've found your life partner.

1) What is This Person's Core Values?

Before you decide to marry someone,
make sure that they are fully committed
to some kind of objective moral

and ethical standard.
Whether we realize it or not,
everyone has some kind of core value
that is central to their personality.
And when push comes to shove,
that value is going to be the most important thing
in the world to that person.

For example: Jerry's core value is adventure.
When Jerry starts to date Diana,
he happens to be volunteering at
the local Emergency Room.
He goes there every night,
holds people's hands, calms them down.

And Diana is thinking to herself
that Jerry must have a heart of gold
if this is how he's spending his spare time.
Now, Jerry might really have a heart of gold.
But he's volunteering because of his love for adventure.
The ER is filled with action, it's exciting.

So right now, Jerry's adventurousness
happens to be expressing itself in a kind way.
But that could change.
Jerry might stop volunteering,
and start trying other adventures
that Diana may find unpleasant,
dangerous, or even unethical.

However, if Jerry's core value
is a commitment to goodness and caring,
then everything he does will rotate around that,
including his marriage.
And Diana will be a very lucky woman
if she marries him.

So how do you get to know the true Jerry?
Surprisingly, it's not that difficult.
No matter what a person's core value is,
you will see him or her sacrificing for it
on a daily basis.

If Jerry's core value is adventure,
then he might risk an accident
in order to speed through an intersection
or arrive late at work because
he followed a police chase.

If Diana follows him carefully,
she'll see that he places adventure
above other important things on his list of priorities.
But if Jerry's core value is goodness,
then Diana will see him give up
on certain things in order to be kind.

If the waiter mixes up his order,
he'll say thank you and eat the dish anyway.
He'll let the other guy cross the intersection first,
or he might be late to work
because he drove a little old lady home
with her groceries.

If Diana follows him carefully,
then she'll see him let go
of some of his own desires
in order to take care of other people.

So look for someone who is committed
at the core to a higher set of values
that you can appreciate.

2) Does This Person Treat Others Well?

Number two is obvious:
You want to marry someone
who is going to take care of you
and treat you well.
How to figure it out? Simple.

Spend time with this person,
and pay attention to how
they treat others whom they don't necessarily care about
because they're not trying to charm them.
Do they thank the attendant who pumped gas for them?
Are they courteous to people at checkout counters?
Do they curse out people who don't deliver on time,
like telephone operators or overworked waitresses?

Do they tend to drive aggressively,
as if there's no one else on the road?

Ask yourself questions like these
and take note of the answers,
because they reflect characteristics
that will come out down the line.

Most people don't guard themselves so carefully
that they'll hide how they treat others.
So watch them, and you'll know how they're going
to treat you after you're married.

3) Do We Communicate Well With Each Other?

In other words, make sure that you understand each other.
This may seem obvious, but it's not.

Sometimes you can see a couple
in a fight and they argue for an hour,
two hours, maybe even overnight.
And then, at the end of round 16,
it turns out that the whole thing
was just a misunderstanding:
“Oh, I thought you meant that…That's not what you meant?
Oh, then we agree.”

Although on an occasional basis
this can happen to anyone,
if it's happening constantly
then it's not a good sign because
that may not change.
If you're constantly misunderstanding each other,
then you might want to put
this relationship on hold for a while

.

4) Are We Physically Attracted to Each Other?

Physical attraction is an essential part of marriage.
You cannot marry someone
if you aren't physically attracted to them.
And while men arrive at this conclusion somewhat quickly,
women should give themselves some more time.
Very often, a woman may not feel attracted
to a man initially,
but after she gets to know him
she finds him much more attractive than before.

A word of caution:
Although physical attraction is essential,
you can't base a marriage on physicality.
Whatever is going on physically
is meant to be an expression
of something deep that is happening
on the emotional and spiritual level.
The rule is, make sure that physical attraction is there,
but don't get swept away by it.

The other three characteristics are just as important,
if not more so.

So there you have it.
The next time you date someone,
put what you've learned here into practice.
It'll save you a lot of time and heartache,
and you might find yourself
walking down the aisle faster than you think.