Have you ever wondered why people get attracted to other people? Why would someone find another person more attractive? Let me put the question again in another way. Have you ever wondered why we get attracted only to certain people than we do to others given that all other factors are being constant?
I know some of us have never thought of this but one thing I also know is that nature does not make it like that without a cause. It happens so with a clear purpose behind it.
In one of my articles, why do we find some people attractive?, I explained how our cultures, emotional needs and the circumstances in which we were brought up influence the way we look at attractiveness and the same reason behind these factors, also influence our connection with others.
What attracts people to each other?
Knowing why we are attracted to certain people is not something that cannot be learnt or understood. It’s nothing more than examining our common interest and purpose. In this article, I will tell you what attracts people to others and you to others.
Physical attraction: The first thing that attracts us to others is our physical appearance. This is the number one factor that makes us perceive others as such. It is this same criterion that starts almost every relationship, if not all. It’s true that not everyone puts much emphasis on sight looks, still it’s what that draws the majority of people to perceive others as attractive. In my book How to make someone fall in love with you, I explained how a person can manipulate physical appearance in different postures to make someone finds him attractive even if they never thought of it.
Common interest: People can only be attracted or drawn to others when they share common interest and values. Until someone finds some common interest that both of you can offer before they can find you interested. For example, if a student has been facing difficulties with a certain subject will automatically be attracted to another good student in this subject because they can share common interest. And that is why we tend to be attracted to the people who possess what we need.
Nearness distance: Another factor that makes us attracted to others is the physical proximity that we keep with the person. That is why when a student moves to another school, he/she soon make new friends because of the physical proximity that they have daily and that is the same reason why we tend to find our neighbors and friends more attractive due to the intimacy we have with them.
Attraction and Familiarity: Another factor that makes us find people attractive is familiarity. This is so because when we are searching for a friend or partner, we unconsciously look for those who are familiar to us or resemble the people we love. During this process, you will not find someone attractive having contradictory assessments.
Attraction and criteria: Another important reason why we find people attractive is when they match the list of qualifications stored in our minds called criteria match. If someone does not match a certain percentage of these criteria, we will not find them interesting (see why do we fall in love?). For example, if you are in search of a partner and found someone who does not match a certain percentage of these criteria match, automatically, the person will not be attractive to you even if they appeared to be loved by other people.
They are other minor factors that cause people to become attracted to others, but for the sake of time, I cut them down by just mentioning only the main factors. So, if you want to attract someone, all you have to do is to adjust some of these influential factors until they are drawn to you, right?