If you’re in a sexual relationship, there’s probably more on your mind than chocolate and flowers when it comes to Valentine’s Day. No doubt, you’re thinking about putting the moves on your sweetheart to get some hot sex going in the bedroom.
If you want to ensure you have sex that sizzles, here are 6 tips to make it happen.
1. Buy a private “love gift.” Give it to your partner when you get to the bedroom. It can be a toy, a flavored lubricant, a fragrant candle, or a bottle of champagne to drink alone.
2. Be seductive. Just because you both know where the evening is leading doesn’t mean you should head straight to the bedroom. Give your partner compliments. Flirt. Whisper what you want to do to their body in their ear over dinner.
3. As soon as you’re together, start being affectionate. Don’t wait until minutes before you want to have sex. And don’t smother your partner, either. Just be genuinely warm and loving toward your partner. This day is all about romance.
4. Try tender sex. If you usually are aggressive, try being sweet. Show your partner another side of yourself. Reveal how sexy you are when you slow down to a simmer. Valentine’s Day is all about expressing the gentler side.
5. Try aggressive sex. If you are usually passive in bed, trying initiating sex. Give your partner a treat and show how much you care all at the same time. After all, sometimes what’s hot is ignoring convention. Instead of sweet Valentine sex, try it tough.
6. Have a little “after treat.” When your lovemaking is over, let your partner know you appreciate this private gift you’ve enjoyed together. Have a Valentine’s card hidden beneath the pillow to give to your lover or an extra chocolate in your nightstand drawer.
Valentine’s Day is about love, yes, but it’s also about passionate sex. The symbols of the holiday—flowers, perfume, chocolate, and gems—are seductive. Let yourself be carried away.
Dr. Stephanie Buehler is a psychologist and sex therapist, and Director of The Buehler Institute in Southern California. You can get ideas for more ways to have great sex by downloading a free copy of her book Sexual Discoveries at yourpassionexpert.com.