Here are 7 steps to marriage reconciliation that will prayerfully put you and your spouse back on the right track.
1. Swallow Your Pride - The Bible says, pride comes before the fall. That means pride will always lead to your destruction. In this case, the destruction of your marriage. So take a long hard look at yourself. That's right. Even if you believe your partner is the blame for the breakdown of your marriage. Examine yourself to see what you could have done differently. Now accept responsibility for your actions and be willing to admit your mistakes.
2. Forgive - Once you've swallowed pride, you should ask for forgiveness and then extend forgiveness to your spouse for their offenses against you. Remember, neither of you are perfect. Therefore forgiveness must always be a two way street.
3. Stop Blaming - Don't waste time pointing fingers at each other. This sort of behavior is unproductive. Instead of approaching your conversations from the standpoint of me vs. you, approach your discussions from the standpoint of us vs. the problem. By doing so, you will avoid the blame game.
4. Learn from the Past - Use your marriage mistakes as a springboard to propel your relationship to a higher level. If you learn from your mistakes, you are less likely to repeat them.
5. Leave the Past in the Past - In other words, let go and move forward. Don't remind your spouse of what s/he did or how things were in the past. If you really want reconciliation you've got to let go of the past.
6. Be Patient - Your marriage did not fall apart over night and therefore cannot be repaired over night. Rebuilding your marriage is a process that will take a lot of patience and determination from you.
7. Get Godly Counsel - Don't seek ungodly or unqualified counsel from friends and peers. As a child of God, you should only accept counsel from fellow believers who are spiritually mature. If you don't have such a group of people surrounding you. Or, if you feel like you're in over your head, have the courage to get professional guidance for marriage reconciliation.
Ministers Mike and Wanda Collins are authorities on Christian marriage. They have impacted the lives of countless couples around the globe with their website, free materials, and progressive alternative approach to Christian marriage counseling. They are highly respected among their peers as spiritual leaders, marriage coaches, and co-laborers in the Body of Christ.