Overcoming social anxiety is hard.
Let me correct myself...
Overcoming social anxiety is next to impossible if you donât have the right advice. If youâre suffering through anxiety knowing the most common mistakes can really make a difference when changing this part of your life.
When you donât watch out for these mistakes youâll repeat them over and over again, and never realize youâre doing it. Once you get the right foundation on how to overcome social anxiety you move forward in the right direction. Youâll know where you went wrong when you get a setback.
In short, not only are these nine mistakes, they are also nine tips on how to be more successful in overcoming social anxiety.
Save them in your computer or print it out so you can always refer back to it.
So without further ado here are the nine mistakes:
#1 Seeking Approval
You might feel the need to get approval from the people around you. Once you start getting approval you can start to overcome social anxiety more and more...Right? Nope, this is one of those things that works backwards. If people see that you DONâT need their approval they are most likely going to give it. They wonât treat you âniceâ because you are openly showing weakness. You have to be street smart when it comes to social anxiety.
#2 âNeedingâ Friends Too Much
Learn the ultimate rule of negotiations...if you need something really badly youâre going to get a bad deal. When you need something A LOT youâll probably do anything to get it...Especially if you have shyness and anxiety against you. Youâre going to end up with unappreciative friends, friends who will take you for granted.
#3 Only Sticking To One Group Of Friends
The best thing to do is try to make friends in different groups. The worst thing you can do is rely on only one set of friends. When all your effort is put into one group of people and it fails youâre going to suffer a big blow to your confidence.
#4 Having Zero Boundaries
Think of all the things others have done to upset you. Make a list and commit to yourself that you will not accept those things in your life. Donât let it happen more than once with a person. Thatâs the rule, donât let it happen more than once. Boundaries is what creates strong character.
#5 Withdrawing From Set-Backs
Have you ever encountered a set-back or a failure and decided to quit? A set-back or âfailureâ is in reality a challenge. When something gets challenging just stick to it a little more to get the experience.
#6 Staying Away From People You Envy
The people you envy have what you want. A better social life. You can either envy them from a distance and secretly think bad of them; or you can be friends with them. These people will become your best friends if you approach them nicely.
#7 Staying At Home
Making yourself step out of the house regularly will help you condition yourself to the outside social environment. Examples of places you can go is the library, the mall or even better volunteer groups. This gets you into a momentum of being in social environments. But make sure not to lose a 1-2 times a week rhythm because once you stop your mind will get lazy.
#8 Being A Conformist
When you try too hard to fit in it stands out in a negative way. It says that you are seeking approval. Itâs actually ok to have a different opinion or style than others. The mistake is agreeing with everything others have to say at the risk of looking like youâre different. As you start to get better and better at overcoming social anxiety this will become easier to do.
And finally the last one:
#9 Being Too Cautious
At some point youâre gona have to take a leap of faith and stand in the fire so-to-speak, take the heat...even if itâs just a little bit. When youâre suffering from anxiety being socially cautious is in your nature. But being overly cautious is what keeps you from ever overcoming it.
If you find yourself not being able to overcome anxiety it usually relates back to one of these points.
Once you learn these nine points the next step for you is to learn social tactics for getting people to like you. Go to the Authorâs Bio below and click on the link provided to learn those tactics
I used to be the guy who showed up to hang out and people would say âWhyâd they have to bring HIM?â and they avoided talking to me or even looking in my direction. In high school I used to read about cool scientific facts and knowledge about the universe. And Iâd remember it for conversation starters thinking it will mesmerize people and get them to notice me.
But no one cared. I was shy, introverted and usually lonely.
But I wasn't the type to throw in the towel. I studied some of the most outgoing people around and read about anthropology, ethology and psychology to understand what makes them so likable from a scientific point of view. Eventually I started getting the same success they were and created step by step methods to teach other introverted, shy men about being social and outgoing.
I met some famous people from Miss Korea, Jean-Claude Van Damme to small time movie directors in the area using some of my techniques I developed.
I coached many guys over the years and took them from shy and meager to being the center of their social circle. Once they became successful they never went back to being the same again. You should check out my page if you want to learn more about my systems and methods http://www.crushsocialanxiety.com