A Question Of Responsibilityby Jon Hansen

Responsibility.

It's a big word, literally and conceptually.

Responsibility.

It calls you to care for others, admit your faults, do what you think - or are told - you should do instead of what you want to do.

Like most of my clients, you may feel stuck in the structures of your life, in the responsibilities, in the shoulds. You take care of your family, your friends, your co-workers, your employees, and you learn at a very young age that it's selfish to take care of yourself.

A client recently described a beautiful plan for her December. With business slowing down as the holidays occupy her clients' attention, she has time available and has been considering how best to spend it.

In an email to me, she wrote of taking walks on the beach, meditating, laughing as often as possible, crying when she needs to. She wrote of spending time in silence, in non-doing. She wrote of nurturing herself with massage, good food, time spent with friends and alone, time spent doing things she enjoys but seldom has time for.

And then she wrote, "Will I do it? Probably not. But it sure sounds nice right now."

Whoa! I responded. What an opportunity she's snatching from herself to fuel her self, her life, and her business with inspiration and creativity. Her deeper instincts, her body and her inner voice, are telling her what she needs. It's her mind that's interfering with its call for her to be responsible.

What if being responsible actually meant being irresponsible?

More importantly, what does it really mean to be responsible? What if being responsible meant doing less, and allowing others to do more for themselves? When you take responsibility for others, are you helping them, or are you holding them back?

It's hard to see someone you love struggle and suffer, especially when you know you can help. But protecting them from their experiences and difficulties doesn't help them in the long run. They need those experiences and difficulties to learn and grow, to become who they are, and you do them a disservice when you prevent them from fully experiencing all of life. When you give them the freedom to manage their own issues, you have the opportunity to look for interdependence instead of dependence, and you come to a deeper understanding of what it means to have a loving relationship and a loving community.

In answering these questions for yourself, listen for the quiet voice inside you - the voice that's often drowned out by the stern lectures of responsibility. That quiet voice is your authentic voice, your voice of love and wisdom. Listen for that voice, and then answer for yourself what responsibility really means.

Even at their most irresponsible, my clients are still more responsible than 99% of the population. I'd guess you're the same. So dare to be irresponsible every now and then. Just allow yourself to listen and respond to what's really there.

Nothing will fall apart - but your exhaustion and frustration might get a little lighter.

"Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature." Tom Robbins, American author, 1936 -


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