True, our work relationships are usually not the first and closest circle in our lives, but some of us spend more time at work, interacting with our bosses and colleagues than we do at home with our close family. And also, think about what a huge effect your work relationships have on your mood, your self esteem, your sense of worth, etc. So what has more affect - your home relationships on your work relationships or vice versa? good question. But I don't think the answer is that important, because the true answer is that they are both important and worthy of your attention and improvements, where needed.
Lets talk first about your boss. I have always found it interesting how people (myself included - in the past) just love complaining about their boss. We always have criticism about his/her decisions, manner, expectations, fairness, etc. listening to us go on and on about our boss you would think that all bosses are a bunch of incompetent fools.
But that doesn't really make sense, does it? It can't be true, at least not totally true. Well, then it must be our perception.
So, here are some questions to think (and act) about:
- Are you a leader or a follower?
Well most of us are both. At home, when your 6 year old daughter tells you to sit down so she can show you her new dance - she is the leader and you are the follower. At work when your boss tells you what to do - you are the follower, he/she is the leader. But when you start working on that project, or when you take it to your subordinates, you are the leader. See how that constantly changes? So now ask yourself -
- What kind of a leader are you?
If you are a boss yourself, what is your leadership style? Do you make sure your followers are on board? Do inspire them to be on board or do you rely on their fear? Do you encourage and acknowledge effort and success? Are you more concerned about being loved than being an effective leader?
- What kind of a follower are you?
Do you drag your feet and complain more than you actually work? Are you more busy collecting evidence that you boss is a jerk than giving him/her what they want? Are you committed to your boss's success or his/her failure? Do you contribute to the office bad-mouthing, gossiping and conniving or do you keep away from it? Well, buddy, if any of your answers are on the negative side of things its time to shape up or ship out, because chances are you are not in integrity. You tell your boss - "yes sir/ma'am" and give them the finger (with your behavior and attitude) behind their back. So, either go find another job, or try, for one month, to turn it around: Decide that no matter what is going on and how your boss is behaving you will give him/her 100% support. You can always talk to him/her about whatever you think is wrong, but if you do not discuss the issue with them, do whatever you can to support them.
I promise you, it will feel much better, even if sometimes it will seem difficult to do.
Michal Eyal is a personal growth instructor and coach and an NLP Master Practitioner. Check out her website at: www.easy-happiness.com/index.html