Backwards Is Sometimes A Forward Stepby Allyson Rice

“We are not retreating; we are advancing in another direction.”
--Gen. Douglas MacArthur--


Take the military context out of that quote, and it’s a great example-in-action of the old maxim: “You can be right or you can be happy.” The key underlying principle is flexibility, adaptability in the face of new information. It requires a willingness to give up our claim to being Right, and being open to taking in new information and changing what we’re doing or thinking based on this new information, without our ego getting in our way.

It also means looking at our current change in direction, even if it’s a complete about-face in both our perception and the actions it requires, as a positive and forward step on our journey. It’s about welcoming rather than resenting the situation or person that has introduced something new and perhaps unfamiliar. As St. Augustine once said, “Resentment is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies.” That kind of resentment is toxic; it doesn’t serve us at all. It’s a self-constricting, self-limiting emotion. The key is maintaining your focus on the positive forward movement, and having appreciation for the new information that allows for greater understanding of the larger picture.

Life is going to continue to change without end, and we will constantly be presented with those good ol’ "opportunities for growth" (usually during the times when we feel most Right). The minute we choose to dig in our heels, refusing to allow a new possibility to enter our world rather than the one we’ve perhaps already invested a great deal of energy in, we create tension within ourselves. We become constricted as we try to hold on to the past and the outdated information of the past, refusing to allow in the new information presenting itself in the present moment. We begin to fight what is in front of us and is trying to expand our perceptions, and that rarely leads to happiness in any area.

T. Harv Ecker gives another version of this same principle in his book Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, “You can be right, or you can be rich, but you can’t be both.” Again, it’s about the difference between someone who sees the opportunities, the positives, and the learning of new information as a path to success and abundance, even if it means relinquishing what you thought was right just a moment before. It’s about flexibility, adaptability, and an open mind; it’s about being fluid in your movement through life.

Being fluid, like water, doesn’t mean never hitting an obstacle; but rather, hitting the obstacle and effortlessly flowing around it and finding the natural course after you’re around it. It requires a relaxation into the process of flowing, because to be rigid would be to fight the current.

It means being present in the moment
and responding to life as it occurs.

Otherwise, you’ll always be at the mercy of shattered expectations, feeling the victim to something or someone outside yourself. Water doesn’t whine about being a victim to the boulder sitting in the middle of the creek. It makes contact with it, and flows around the edges, and goes on it’s merry way. And in the act of making gentle contact and continuing to flow, little by little the boulder is eroded over time. Not that the water spends time worrying about dissolving it. It doesn’t “resent” the obstacle’s presence, or take it personally, it merely works with the obstacle and adapts it’s path.

There is a familiar Biblical quote, which after many translations from language to language, now reads “And the meek shall inherit the earth.” But a translation of the original Aramaic language and “meek” is not as we understand it today, but rather “adaptable.” And the adaptable shall inherit the earth.

It’s something to be conscious of when we’re in the middle of the process of living. If it weren’t for adaptable people willing to let go of past information and incorporate something new, we’d all still believe that the world was flat…


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