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Developing self-belief - The 10 step process - Part 3
By
Nick Best |
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In part 3 of this 4 part series on developing self-belief I will look at how to apply the first 6 steps of the 10 step process in your life.
Putting the steps into practise
It's time now to get practical and put these into practise. Pick a goal which you are not sure you are going to achieve, and follow the following steps.
1) Be confident that the end result is possible.
Has someone else achieved this goal? If so it must be possible mustn't it? List 5 people who have achieved or are currently achieving your goal. The more similar they are to you and your current position the better. If no-one has achieved your goal yet, list 5 things which people have achieved which are similar in some way to your goal, or which can be a source of inspiration to you.
1. _________________________
2. _________________________
3. _________________________
4. _________________________
5. _________________________
As soon as you can say with total conviction ¡°it really is possible to achieve this goal¡± it is time to move on to step 2. If you can't do this yet, look for more examples of people achieving amazing feats and overcoming overwhelming odds and add them to your list until you do believe your goal is possible.
2) Believe that the end result is possible by you.
Right, so it's possible, but do you believe your goal is possible by you? If not, or if you would like to bolster that belief then try the following exercises.
Firstly we are going to work on your general self-belief. The higher that is the more likely you will believe you can achieve this goal.
(i) List 10 things which you have done successfully in the past.
1. _____________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________
5. _____________________________________________________
6. _____________________________________________________
7. _____________________________________________________
8. _____________________________________________________
9. _____________________________________________________
10. _____________________________________________________
Given these past successes, isn't it just possible that you might achieve your goal this time too?
ii) List 10 attributes or skills you have.
1. _____________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________
5. _____________________________________________________
6. _____________________________________________________
7. _____________________________________________________
8. _____________________________________________________
9. _____________________________________________________
10. _____________________________________________________
Given these skills and attributes, you really could achieve your goal couldn't you?
It's now time to be specific about your goal.
iii) What have you done in the past which might suggest you could achieve the specific goal you've set yourself.
1. _____________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________
5. _____________________________________________________
Given these successes, could you achieve your goal?
ii) What 5 attributes or skills will help you to achieve your goal.
1. _____________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________
5. _____________________________________________________
How much are these specific attributes going to help you succeed?
iii) List 5 barriers which may stop you from achieving your goal?
1. _____________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________
5. _____________________________________________________
If you were to overcome these barriers then would it be possible to achieve your goals?
iv) For each barrier list out 3 things you can do to overcome or at least reduce the size of this barrier.
1. _____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
5. _____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you were work on each of these points then your goal must be at least possible by you mustn't it?
(v) Finally say with total conviction, ¡°It really is possible for me to [insert your goal]¡±. Repeat this as often as it feels right to reinforce this message.
3) Really want the end result
Ask yourself now - do you really really want to achieve this goal - or is it just nice to have. To understand just how important this goal is to you then do the following exercise.
i) List out 5 things that achieving this goal will do for you and explain what is important to you about each thing.
What will achieving your goal What is important about
this?
do for you?
1. _________________________ _________________________
2. _________________________ _________________________
3. _________________________ _________________________
4. _________________________ _________________________
5. _________________________ _________________________
(ii) Review this list, and ask yourself how important it is to achieve your goal, given everything achieving it will do for you.
(iii) Given its importance to you, will you work hard to succeed? If you will, doesn't that increase the likelihood that you'll achieve the end result?
4) Believe that you deserve the end result.
Do you feel you deserve to achieve your goal?
If not, try the following steps:
i) List 5 reasons why you might deserve to achieve your goal?
1. _____________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________
5. _____________________________________________________
ii) What would you have to do in the future to feel you deserved to achieve your goal? List 5 action points.
1. _____________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________
5. _____________________________________________________
You should incorporate these points in your planning in step 6.
iii) Review at the list of goals achieved and attributes you have you made in Step 1. You really are a valuable person. If you set yourself a goal and work towards it, don't you deserve to get the end result you desire?
iv) Finally, say with conviction ¡°I really do deserve to [insert your goal here]¡±. Repeat this regularly until you feel it is true.
5) Achieving your end goal must not contradict any other beliefs or values you have
Take a moment now to imagine yourself achieving your final goal. See what you will see. Hear what you will hear. Feel what you will feel. Smell what you will smell. Taste what you will taste.
i) As you imagine yourself at this time in your life, is there anything which doesn't seem right?
ii) Are there any values which you are contradicting?
iii) Is there anything or anyone in your life that you are neglecting?
iv) Do you feel totally right about achieving this goal?
If the answer to any one of these questions is yes, change the vision of your end result so that it fits in with your beliefs, and what is right for you. Make it so that it feels just right.
6) Create a plan
Big goals can often be too large to be believable. Small goals that are not so far off are easier to focus on and believe in. This next step involves breaking down your overall goal into many smaller goals, and creating a clear action plan of the steps you plan to take to achieve these.
You will find a detailed approach to planning in chapter 7. Alternatively use the following exercises to help you create a plan:
i) Brainstorm a list of the things you will have to do to achieve your goal?
1. _____________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________
5. _____________________________________________________
6. _____________________________________________________
7. _____________________________________________________
8. _____________________________________________________
9. _____________________________________________________
10. _____________________________________________________
b) (i) When do you hope to achieve your goal by?
___________________________________________
(ii) Breakdown this time-scale into a convenient number of smaller parts. As an example, a goal which you would like to achieve in one years time could perhaps be broken down into four, three month periods or six, two month periods.
Set new goals for what you would like to achieve by the end of each period.
Date Goal(s)
1. __________ _______________________________________
_______________________________________
2. __________ _______________________________________
_______________________________________
3. __________ _______________________________________
_______________________________________
4. __________ _______________________________________
_______________________________________
5. __________ _______________________________________
_______________________________________
6. __________ _______________________________________
_______________________________________
c) In as much detail as possible create an action plan of the steps you will have to take at each stage along the way towards achieving your goals, and when you will have to do them by.
Include in your plan:
¡¤ A review of progress at key points along the way so you can learn from your experiences. ¡¤ Time to update your plan as you learn the best approach.
Note that you do not have to know all the steps now. The future is uncertain so it is not always possible to plan everything. Plan what you can for the moment, and then make a new plan once those steps have been taken. If you continue to do this, and learn from your experience you are likely to achieve your goal in the end.
d) Finally, ask yourself:
If I undertake each of the steps on my plan am I likely to achieve my goal?
If YES - great, move onto step 7.
If NO, or DON'T KNOW, ask yourself, what more you could do to enable you to achieve your goal and update the plan accordingly. Make it as good as you possibly can before moving on so that you remove as much doubt from your mind as you possibly can.
In next week's final part in this series I will take a look the last 4 steps in the process, and review some case studies of people's experience of using it.
Author's Bio
Nick Best is an author, speaker and personal development coach. If you would like more information on the 10 step self-belief process and how to make it work for you, e-mail him at
nickbest@managementoflife.com. The article is an extract from this book The Management Of Life. Other selected chapters can be found on his website
www.managementoflife.com.
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