It breaks my heart whenever I hear women say that there aren't any good men over 40 left to date, because it's just not true. Sure, it feels true when you're sitting across the table from your blind date—a guy who wears black socks with sandals and whines about how his seventh divorce really was all his wife's fault, because frankly, in his opinion, all women are inherently evil, gold diggers or both.
But there are a lot of decent, kind, available men over 40 who are single and looking for someone to love.
We all know that once you hit your fortieth (err, thirtieth) birthday, you're not going to have much luck spending every weekend hanging out in a bar, gripping a bottle of light beer, and listening to the same old jokes, meeting the same people in different clothes. When we belly up to the bar, we're much more likely to meet that smarmy loser whose exposed silver chest hairs seem perilously likely to fall in our drinks than be the man of our dreams.
So where do you go to meet these wonderful, enlightened, please-let-them-be-attractive, minimally damaged men over 40?
5 Unexpected Places to Find Great, Single Men Over 40 to Date Right Now
1) Parties Once-Removed: Six Degrees of Barbeque
How can you expect to meet and date great men over 40 when you always invite the same seventeen people to all of your parties? Bring some new blood to the old gang. With Parties Once-Removed, everybody you invite brings someone that nobody else in the group knows. Think of it as six degrees of separation, only backwards. Voila! You'll have a party full of brand-new people who already get along great with your closest friends.
2) Go Clubbing
Want to meet an endless supply of fit, financially comfortable, educated men over 40? Take up golfing. If you don't already golf, there are lots of reasonably priced lessons at your local public course. (And of course, plenty of overpriced ones at the private clubs.)
Once you've mastered the basics, you have two options to maximize your man-meeting potential: You can pull together a foursome with a collection of like-minded women, or you can head out to the course on Saturday morning as a single and complete someone else's foursome.
If you're golfing as a single, you'll be meeting three new people (most likely men) and odds are in your favor that at least one of them is single. (The Census Bureau estimates that 30 percent of Americans born between 1946 and 1964 are single.) You'll have him all to yourself for eighteen holes, and if you like him, you can let him buy you a Bloody Mary when you finish your round. And, don't worry about whether or not you're any good—nobody is.
3) Go to Somebody Else's Company Picnic
Pair up with another single pal and survey his or her company's assets. These events are social, and as an added bonus, you know everybody there is employed. Your insider buddy can act as your tour guide to help you avoid the guy who sticks paperclips up his nose or the weirdo with fifty-nine cats.
4) Marianne Williamson, Meet Wayne Dyer
If you're looking to meet men over 40 who are as interested in self-growth as you are then attend lectures, conferences, and seminars by spiritual and self-development leaders. This can be a great place to meet someone and hang out with a bunch of men who're actively seeking to live a more positive, meaningful, inspired life.
Weekend conferences are best if you're hoping to meet other people, because they offer more chances to socialize than daylong seminars provide. If the conference feels too pricey, contact the organization to and see if there's a way you can work at the event in exchange for free admission.
Yes, the crowd will be 70 percent women, but the men will be good ones.
5) Power Drills and Other Flirting Tools
The best part of meeting people through volunteer work is that you help make the world a better place and meet a lot of like-minded eligible men at the same time. (Besides, helping others gives you good dating karma.) If there are no volunteer groups in your area catering specifically to singles, check out Habitat for Humanity, www.habitat.org. It's a great way to meet people of all ages, and you get to spend the day in the sunshine using power tools. What could be better?
This article is excerpted from my brand new book, "How to Date Like a Grown-Up." If you follow my advice in this article and in my book, you might just get lucky, find the man of your dreams and get married – even if you're in your
40's, 50's and beyond!
Lisa Daily is a dating coach, speaker, author and popular media guest who helps women over 40 find great men to date. Now, you can WIN one of 25 signed copies of her new book HOW TO DATE LIKE A GROWN-UP all month. To register, or get more of Lisa's free dating articles, tips and advice visit lisadaily.com/datingexperttv