Most people find it difficult to define themselves. On the other hand almost every self-realized and successful person can tell you who they are and what their plans are for life. The best way to define yourself is to write down how you would like to be remembered. To start this exercise think about whom you would like to be positively remembered by. Then decide what kind of person you want to remembered as. Next imagine some of the good things you want to be remembered for. Finally write down the characteristics you would not like to be associated with.
When I did this exercise for myself I wrote down the following: “ I would like to be remembered as a positive person who is able to easily reinvent myself as I learn more about life and encounter new challenges. I want to have been thought of as optimistic cheerful, sensible, discreet, confident, curious, witty, wise, passionate about learning, and compassionate. I would not like to be remembered as stubborn, selfish, or opinionated.”
Now is this really me? No not entirely, but after I wrote it down and now review it several times a day, I have become much like this than I was before.
I have a friend who always wanted to be successful in business. Even though he was not well educated and had little background in business, he exuded total confidence in himself, and the various businesses he started always succeeded beyond everyone’s expectations. When I asked him how he would define himself, he immediately said “as a winner.” He went on to say that this meant he would not accept failure and would do whatever it took to succeed.
Self-awareness is essential when defining yourself. If you know who you are and what you have a passion for, you will realize what attributes are necessary for these s. Think about who you want to become. Almost everyone wants to be a good person and successful at something, but what does that mean to you. Suppose for example you want to excel in corporate management. This would require that you have the attributes necessary to succeed in this field. You would have to be dependable, resourceful, a team player, a great motivator, a problem-solver, and most importantly someone who listened and spoke well.
Finally, define yourself by who you believe you are really capable of becoming. The more you act like the person you define yourself as, the more like minded people will be attracted to you and offer their support and help. You will soon be surrounded by the kind of people you want to become. It is a challenge to define ourselves and then live our lives by that definition, but it is far better than accepting yourself as you are now, and not becoming what you are capable of.
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