HANDLING REJECTION: The Secret to Sales Successby Norm Ephraim,Ed.D.

Among the many sales people I've helped as a psychologist over the years, handling rejection by customers is often a major problem. Typically, they tell me how the motivational books and tapes they've read don't seem to work. As one man said recently," they always exhort you to be positive and not take things personally. It only makes me reel dumb when I do get upset about a lost sale"

What really helps you to handle rejection is to recognize that there is a part of our minds which ALWAYS takes disappointments seriously. This part connects us to childhood emotional feelings of insecurity. Any disappointments, frustrations, and loss will make us feel anxious and small- wht I call a "child state". The key to handling rejection isto have COMPASSION for such young feelings. All too often, people are self critical when they feel vulnerable,e.g. "Why am I making such a big deal about losing that sale" This only makes us feel bad. What REALLY works is when we say "Look, this WAS a disappointment and it has hooked child feelings in me.Ok, so how can I best take care of myself to get back on the horse and get going again?" Such self compassion and active coping can have amazingly positive effects.

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