BUILDING YOUR PERSONALITY, PRESENCE, MAGNETISM And Relationship Skills
FOR GREATER SUCCESS, AND TO MORE EFFECTIVELY ATTRACT, INFLUENCE,INTEREST, STIMULATE, ENTHUSE, WIN OVER AND LEAD OTHERS
By Rick Gettle © 2004
Article Excerpt From The Book “Successercising” www.successercising.com
Your Success In Selling Yourself And Your Ideas To Others Is Based 98% On Your Personality And Only 2% On Your Product Knowledge
Some people have so much personality, presence and magnetism that they brighten a room when they come in.
Others have so little, that they brighten the room when they leave.
PERSONAL MAGNETISM TEST:
Personality is the mental, spiritual, and physical traits - good or bad - which distinguish you from all others. To realize prosperity and success you need to build a powerful magnetic personality that attracts people to you. Here's a list of traits that will help you achieve a pleasing, attractive, engaging, and winning personality.
Please rate yourself, not on how you feel about yourself, but on how you think others would rate you.
Poor - Fair - Good - Excellent
A Positive Mental Attitude
Keep your mind filled throughout the day with positive and happy thoughts? It’s not much fun being around negative people. Treat everyone you meet as if they were the most important person in the world.
Learn how to send out and project an aura into the atmosphere that surrounds you, that will create a good mood and feeling for those near you.
The Capacity To Understand People
To be a leader and well respected by the people you work with - you must learn to be an expert when it comes to understanding and inspiring people.
The best-dressed and groomed person usually increases their energy and attracts the most favorable attention.
Control Of Your Emotions
Self discipline is necessary if you're to enjoy the benefits of a pleasing personality. Some of the negative feelings, which must be brought under control, are: Fear, hatred, anger, envy, greed, jealousy, revenge, irritability, and superstition. On the positive side of these negative emotions are the positives of: Love, kindness, faith, hope, desire, loyalty, sympathy, and optimism.
Use Of Creativity
Everyone is born with a brain and an imagination. Some use theirs to develop their fullest capacity to create a great life for themselves - while others use theirs very seldom and end up living a life of mediocrity and lack.
Hope And Ambition
A person without ambition may be harmless to others, but will never be popular. No one cares much about a person who shows by their actions (or lack of action) that they have abandoned hope of getting ahead in this world.
Having dreams, goals, and plans on how to achieve them – create positive energy around you.
To get what you want from life you must have the powers of persuasion to get others to want to help you and cooperate with you.
The person who lacks the necessary self-discipline to manage his or her personal habits is never attractive to others. This is especially true of eating, drinking and sexual relationships. Excesses in relation to any of these destroy personal magnetism.
Concern For Others
A person who is concerned about the welfare, happiness, and safety of others is a well-loved person.
This is a fast moving, high speed world. The tempo of human thoughts and actions is so rapid that people often get in one another's way. Patience is required if you wish to avoid friction in human relationships.
If it’s meant to be – it’s up to me. Making things happen.
Humility Of The Heart
Be humble. Keep your empathy and your ego in balance.
Aspiration For Excellence
Always doing your very best – taking personal initiative and going the extra mile.
A Friendly And Pleasing Tone Of Voice
Keep your tone of voice calm, friendly, soothing, caring, cheerful, easygoing and kind-hearted.
Discipline is what corrects, molds, and perfects.
Ability To Work In Harmony With Others
Teamwork and cooperation.
A Fondness For People
It is inevitable that people who dislike others will be disliked; people sense disapproval, even when you're silent! It is greatly beneficial to monitor your thoughts and emotions as well as your words. Treat everyone you meet, every day, as if they were the most important person in the world. They will give you their love, their respect and their business.
Problem Solving Skills
The Habit Of Smiling
It requires 12 muscles to smile - 103 muscles to frown. When we smile at another person, it puts them at ease and raises their self-esteem. It also releases endorphins in your brain that gives you a feeling of well-being and contentment. Your smile will change the mental attitude of those with whom you come into contact.
Correction and regulation of oneself for the sake of improvement.
Positive Facial Expressions
There are thousands of ways a person speaks without ever opening their mouth. It’s called body language. Are your facial expressions saying things that will attract others to you, or turn them off?
Speaking Ability Before Others
Can you inspire and rouse and audience to action?
Always go out of your way to help others and be kind to them.
Show Alertness Of Interest
The greatest compliment one can pay another person is that of concentrating their attention wholly on the person that is talking to them. Be a great listener.
Do you have the ability to arouse and add vitality in people? People love to be around others that make them feel alive and important.
Always be genuine and honest and free from deceit and phoniness.
A Good Sense Of Humor
A well developed sense of humor helps you stay flexible and adjust to life's varying circumstances. It keeps you from taking yourself and life too seriously.
Do you have the ability to adapt yourself to quickly changing circumstances without losing your composure?
Skill and grace in dealing with others. People show their lack of tact in many ways. The most common are: A gruff and irritable tone of voice indicating that you are in a negative mental mood or displeased. Volunteering opinions which have not been requested, and for which no reason exists, especially opinions on subjects with which one is not familiar. Interrupting the speech of others, indicating one of the more frequent expressions of discourtesy, and lack of culture. Expressing your dislike too freely. Overworking the personal pronoun, "I". Asking favors you haven't earned the right to request. Asking impertinent questions generally for impressing others with the questioner’s importance, or his or her contempt of the one they are addressing. Injecting intimately personal subjects into conversations where such actions have not been invited, and may be embarrassing to others. Going where one has not been invited. The habit of trying to minimize another person’s achievements. Speaking disparagingly of people in the presence of their friends. Common boastfulness.
Keep an open mind at all times. This applies to people and circumstances.
Frankness In Manner And Speech
Always be straightforward and sincere. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Get your point across in the shortest time with well-chosen words
A Keen Sense Of Justice
Doing the right thing in dealing with people. Live by the golden rule.
Appropriate Choice Of Words
The English language is filled with words, which carry every conceivable shade of meaning. There is no excuse for the common habit of using words that offend others. And, of course, the use of profanity at any time, or under any circumstances, is inexcusable and unnecessary.
People have risen to great heights of personal achievement because of their ability to sell themselves and their ideas through dramatization of speech. The most important factor in effective speech is a thorough knowledge of the subject on which you are speaking. All the rules of effective speaking can be stated in one sentence. Know what you want to say, say it with all the emotional feeling at your command, and then sit down.
Popular people are versatile. They have at least a surface knowledge of many subjects. They are interested in other people and in other people’s ideas.
Control Of Temper
The person who lets his or her temper fly off in all directions is sure to receive negative feedback. The most common injury an uncontrolled temper inflicts is that which results from an uncontrolled tongue.
Have a sense or knack for dramatically effective presentation. Pizzazz.
Show graciousness in winning and in losing, and, in getting or not getting what you want.
The Ability To Shake Hands Properly
We all know how uncomfortable it is when someone squeezes your hand too hard. Also, a limp handshake leaves a poor impression. The person who shakes hands properly coordinates his or her handshake with their words of greeting, generally emphasizing each word with a firm grip of the hand. They do not release the other person's hand until they finish their greeting.
Making Decisions Promptly
Successful men and women reach decisions quickly and act on them promptly.
Faith In Infinite Intelligence
Stay in harmony with the Supreme Being that created this universe, whoever you think your creator is.
Enthusiasm is to go forward every morning with the thrill of being alive.
How Did You Rate Yourself?
All around the world, in every walk of life, there is a common desire most people have: To be - liked, loved, popular, attractive, admired, respected, recognized, listened to, and considered important. To achieve this goal, a person would have to develop many positive qualities.
Studying the “personal ads” in the newspapers, these were the most popular qualities I found that people are looking for in others. They want someone who has as many of these qualities as possible:
They want someone who is: active, adaptable, adventurous, affectionate, a good conversationalist, a good listener, ambitious, amusing, a sharp dresser, blissful, calm, caring, cheerful, classy, committed, compassionate, confident, considerate, courteous, creative, dedicated, dependable, down-to-earth, easygoing, emotionally available, energetic, ethical, even-tempered, firm, flexible, fun, gentle, honest, intelligent, lovable, loyal, mature, non-controlling, non-judgmental, non-manipulative, open-minded, optimistic, outgoing, patient, playful, positive, reliable, romantic, sensitive, sensual, serious minded, sharing, sincere, smart, sophisticated, spiritual, spontaneous, stable, strong, stylish, tactful, tender, tolerant, trim, unencumbered, unselfish, warm-hearted, well groomed, and witty. Someone who has a good sense of humor, a good vocabulary, a good imagination, a pleasing tone of voice, a warm smile, good facial expressions, hope, ambition and high expectations, good health, and someone who has and shows “class.” A person who has and projects:
Charm, Presence, Charisma and Personal Magnetism.
Your personality is the sum total of your mental, spiritual and physical traits, habits, characteristics, your emotional tendencies and appearances – which distinguishes you -- from all others.
The way you carry yourself - the vitality of your body. Your behavior, actions, and conduct. The clothes you wear - the lines in your face - the tone of your voice - the thoughts you think - and the character you have developed by those thoughts.
It’s the factor that, more than all others -- determines whether one is liked -- or disliked by others. To realize prosperity you need to build a powerful magnetic personality that attracts people to you.
There are many people who can look through your eyes - into your heart - and see that which is written there - by the nature of your most secret thoughts.
THE MOST DISTINCTIVE QUALITIES OF AN ATTRACTIVE PERSONALITY.
Have you noticed how some people look right past you sometimes as if you weren’t even there; as if you were unimportant and didn’t really matter. How does that make you feel?
So many people really believe that they have a great personality, charm and charisma, when in reality, they don’t. They are haughty and on an ego-trip. They have an exaggerated sense of self-importance. Their vocabulary is mostly I, I, I, and me, me, me.
It doesn’t matter how pretty or how handsome they are - how elegantly dressed they are - or how sharp their car is. They turn others off! They are turned on with themselves, but they are all alone. Stay away from negative thinkers and joy killers - their influence is deadly.
Either you are filled with dynamic personal magnetism and have the ability and power to magnetize and energize those around you - or you lack magnetism.
Because of your lack of personal magnetism and power, you will often end up being led and influenced to think things and do things and say things that may not necessarily be good for your well-being.
Positive Personal Magnetism: This is used to increase the vitality of others, to arouse magnetism in them and to win them by enthusiasm. It causes others to want to be around you, because they end up feeling better about themselves - I like me best when I’m around you.
Andrew Carnegie, at one time the richest man in the world, rated a pleasing personality at the head of the list of qualifications for success, and went so far as to say, “Personality could often be substituted for brains.”
What is an “attractive personality? It’s a personality that attracts!
Your personality can be developed and perfected to such a degree that you will naturally radiate intelligence, charm, poise and perfection.
With this tremendous magnetism you will attract more love, friendship, business, cooperation, support, rapport, followers, money, happiness, and peace of mind, better mental emotional and physical health, vitality and energy.
Developing And Projecting Presence
What Does It Mean To Have Presence?
It’s the way in which, or the quality by which you outwardly project your personality. The way you carry yourself. Your behavior, actions, and conduct.
Some people are present at a party or gathering, or at a function - but nobody notices them. They are present - but they have no presence.
However, a person with real presence can come into that same room and their presence can be felt immediately. There is something special about them - they seem to look important, intelligent and very alert and tuned in to everyone in that room, almost as if they can read everyone’s mind. When you look them in the eyes, it seems that they know all about you. Yet, somehow, you like them, respect them and maybe even envy them. They create excitement. They act in such a way that people think they are celebrities. They project intelligence and awareness. They have pizzazz and vigor. There is an air of excitement all around them.
What are some things you can do to develop your presence - so that wherever you go - you cause others to look at you - notice you - watch you - become aware of you - stare at you - respect you - admire you - imitate you - follow you?
Make a list
What Is Personal Magnetism?
Personal Magnetism is the ability to arouse, attract, and add vitality in another person. People love to be around those that make them feel alive and important.
How Do You Do That?
Concentrate throughout each day on giving others your approval and recognition.
Make them feel important, special, liked and loved; they, in turn, will consider you important and give you their approval.
Really listen to them. Look them in the eyes. Get interested in them. Learn to like them.
You will brighten their room every time you enter.
If you can’t get interested in them - they won’t get interested in you - and if you don’t like them - they won’t like you.
As you walk down the street, repeat this affirmation to yourself – “I like people - and I radiate warmth and friendship to all” - and do it sincerely - with feeling - you will cause others to smile back at you.
Developing And Radiating Natural Charm
Beauty Tips From Audrey Hepburn - Written By Audrey Hepburn.
For Attractive Lips, Speak Words Of Kindness.
For Lovely Eyes, Seek Out The Good In People.
For A Slim Figure, Share Your Food With The Hungry.
For Beautiful Hair, Let A Child Run His Or Her Fingers Through It Once A Day.
For Poise, Walk With The Knowledge You'll Never Walk Alone.
People, Even More Than Things, Have To Be Restored, Renewed, Revived, Reclaimed, And Redeemed; Never Throw Out Anybody.
Remember, If You Ever Need A Helping Hand, You'll Find One At The End Of Your Arm.
As You Grow Older, You Will Discover That You Have Two Hands, One For Helping Yourself, The Other For Helping Others.
The Beauty Of A Woman Is Not In The Clothes She Wears, The Figure That She Carries, Or The Way She Combs Her Hair. The Beauty Of A Woman Must Be Seen From In Her Eyes, Because That Is The Doorway To Her Heart, The Place Where Love Resides.
The Beauty Of A Woman Is Not In A Facial Mole, But True Beauty In A Woman Is Reflected In Her Soul. It Is The Caring That She Lovingly Gives, The Passion That She Shows. And The Beauty Of A Woman With Passing Years Only Grows!
Filling Your Body Language And Facial Expressions
With Sizzling Vitality
A University of California Professor taught that there are over 100,000 ways a person speaks without opening their mouth. This is called Non-Verbal Communications. Or, Body Language.
The way you look and your facial expressions - Your posture - The way you walk - Your inner thoughts - Your attitude - Your habits and mannerisms - The clothes you wear - Your personal grooming - The people you associate with – And the look in your eyes all speak as much as your voice. You can tell at a glance by the expression on a person’s face; the nature of that persons character. You can learn a great deal of what is going on in a person’s mind.
Your eyes also reveal your thoughts - if you are thinking negative about others - they will see it in your eyes. There is a universal non-verbal language. If you don’t like someone, they will know. People can pick up your “vibes.”
The smile, the tone of voice and the expression on one’s face are like open windows through which all who will - may see and feel what takes place in the minds of people - a smart person will know when to keep those windows open or closed. Any intelligent person can read your expressions and tell if you are rude, arrogant, egotistical, selfish, impatient, or haughty. It will show on the outside.
Faces don’t turn people off or on - it’s what others see and read in the face. The look of doubt, worry, fear and gloom - may not turn others off - but it won’t turn them on.
Lawyers who are clever at questioning witnesses in court often have great ability to judge, by the expression on the witnesses face, when the witness is lying or telling the truth.
Master salespeople can tell by the expression on a prospects face when they have the prospects interest and when to close the sale.
The Habit Of Smiling:
It requires only 12 muscles to smile - 103 muscles to frown.
When we smile at another person it puts them at ease and raises their self esteem. It also releases endorphins in your brain that gives you a feeling of well-being and contentment.
The habit of smiling is directly related to an individual’s mental attitude, and it discloses the nature of his or her mental attitude with almost perfect means of identity.
Your smile will change the mental attitude of those with whom you come into conduct. Practice in front of a mirror until you are able to harmonize the tone of your voice with your smile.
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The Master Mind Alliance
Copyright © 2004 The Master Mind Alliance International
Permission is granted to reproduce or distribute this article for all nonprofit purposes only in its entirety and provided copyright, author’s name, and contact information are all included. For other uses, permission in writing from Successercising@msn.com is required.
Success Achievement teacher, consultant, writer and speaker since 1970