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The Emotional Shackle.
You hear so many people these days talking about fear and the importance of getting past it. I agree and I believe that it is extremely important to not let your fears hold you back in life and keep you from really going for what is important. Understanding that, I want to speak with you briefly about an emotion that I believe can be just as crippling as fear, that gets much less attention - GUILT. Or as I call it, the "emotional shackle" of our lives.
When I say guilt, what I mean is the feeling that you don't deserve something, or you're not worthy of something because you've screwed up or done something wrong in the past. The feeling that you are bad or wrong or even dirty in some way because of something you didn't do the way you or someone else thought you should have. It's a feeling that clings to you and very often taunts you, like a taskmaster or a jailor. It very often keeps you in an endless loop of self-deprecating dialogue with yourself, leaving you unable to move on. It is the epitome of negative self-judgment. And I call it the emotional shackle because to one degree or another, it is a refusal to let go of the past. It literally keeps us "shackled" to our past deeds and emotions. And this is something that affects so many of us.
So what can we do to counteract the detrimental effects of guilt in our lives? Well first of all, we can make a few distinctions that change how we view guilt and what it means to us. For example, making the realization that just because you feel guilty about something, that does not mean that you have high standards for yourself in that area. Just because you beat up on yourself for not doing something well, that does NOT mean that you are committed to excellence. If you feel guilty about something, do you know what it means? All it means is that you feel guilty. That's all - it - means.
Let me ask you a question, do you know or have you ever known someone who is EXTREMELY successful in some or many aspects of life, someone you really look up to - who is generally guilt free in the way they carry themselves, even when they make mistakes? They're not always beating up or scolding themselves about every little thing.
Conversely, do you know anyone who is not particularly successful, at least not by your standards, but they are CONSTANTLY beating up on themselves or focusing on what they are doing wrong, or constantly immersed in a state of guilt? If you've been on this earth for any fair amount of time, I would say the chances of your answering "yes" to both of those questions is extremely high. So guilt, contrary to popular perception, is not what determines greatness or impeccable standards.
Let me put it this way: FEELING GUILTY IS NOT NOBLE OR NECESSARY. IT IS SIMPLY A LIMITING EMOTION THAT HOLDS YOU BACK!
Now, in making this point, I am not saying that you shouldn't listen to what your conscience tells you is right or wrong in any given situation, or that you shouldn't adhere to the moral compass you've adopted either from your parents or your religion or your upbringing or wherever you got it. That is not for me to tell you and that's not the point I'm making here anyway. What I am saying is you don't have to beat up on yourself to be successful. You don't have to dwell on past mistakes as a license to be able to claim that you hold yourself to a high standard. Does that make sense? Do your best, learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself, and MOVE ON!!!
Yours In Success,
Mitch Harris
President
Communication Mastery
Author's Bio
Mitch Harris is considered by many to be the most dynamic and articulate public speakers to enter the fields of motivational speaking and business consulting in the last 10 years. With over 15 years of experience in the corporate world and a background in performing, Mitch has a rare ability for electrifying audiences, while teaching practical skills at the same time. In addition to extensive experience in the sports marketing, investment banking and corporate sales training industries, Mitch was hand chosen to represent the Anthony Robbins organization, considered by many to be the #1 training organization in the world, as a Corporate Sales Trainer, Business Coach and Motivational Speaker. Mitch has also worked as a professional musician, stand-up comedian and both guest and keynote speaker for some of the top corporations in the world - including Century 21, Coldwell Banker, ERA Realty, Northwestern Mutual, Met Life, AT&T, MCI Worldcom, Cablevision, Morgan Stanley Dean Witter, and Oppenheimer & Co. just to name a few.
In addition, for the last 15 years Mitch has been the prodigal student - engaging in a constant and never ending process of self-learning, self-discovery and personal growth. He has studied with and learned from many of the modern day masters of peak performance, human influence and spiritual insight - including individuals like Anthony Robbins, Tom Hopkins, Harvey McKay, Brian Tracy, Les Brown, Zig Ziglar, Neil Donald Walsch, Eckart Tolle, and S. N. Goenka just to name a few. Mitch is an avid swimmer and practitioner of Vipassana style meditation, having gone on several 10-day silent retreats.
Mitch's varied experience, along with a deep love for helping and teaching other people is the driving force behind the vision and methodology of Communication Mastery. He has taken the lessons of his journey and combined them with the wisdom shared by others. The training events Mitch delivers are interactive, fun and extremely useful - in the real world. They are quite simply, life changing. In addition, coaching clients report that even one 60-minute session with Mitch can provide the type of insight, perspective and inspiration that help create massive action and world-class results.
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