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Honesty And Compassion
By
Joanie Kirk ND |
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I was home in New Hampshire for my mother's funeral about 6 months ago. There were many moments that week when I felt lost, unsure of what to do with myself, how to be. There were friends of my mother calling asking for her, relieved she had not suffered any longer. Others called voicing how they missed her so. More still called asking what we/I needed. Me? Us? I wasn’t sure where I was in that moment. I could see where my brothers were, how they were. They were relieved, one of his duties of her guardianship he had undertaken 8 years ago after our father had died, the other of his number one son status. All of us were relieved that Mom was no longer suffering, she was relieved of her ties to a life she barely understood in her senility. But where was I? In those moments, lost in loss, grief, all of my attention was on what was going on with me!!!!!!! I had made this event about me.
Knowing that many of the exercises from the The ReSurfacing Workbook, Tools For Exploring Consciousness help quiet the mind, or shift attention, I decided to do the Compassion Exercise during times that week when I was alone, between events or at night before sleep.
Harry Palmer, author of the Avatar Course Materials, says the expected result of this exercise is a personal sense of peace and greater understanding. After the third or fourth time through the exercise, I felt much more relaxed. I was able to take my attention off my loss and grief and was moving my attention to my brothers and their families and to my mother's dearest friends most in their 80’s.
I was struck to learn the deep effect my mother had on so many people during her 90 years. Story after story of moments in time shared with my mother, the life I knew little about. Her bridge club, the women she painted with, her friends at the visiting nurses association where she had volunteered for 25 years (25 years!), the nurses at the nursing home where she spent her last 5 years. That woman I knew and didn’t know at all had touched so many people simply with her being, her laughter, her kindness, her gift of giving.
After nearly half an hour of repeating the exercise, I felt a sense of calm like no other I had experienced before. I began to feel connected to the greater world. I felt my awareness expand to include others, many others, people I didn’t even know. I felt the connected network my mother had created in her world. I felt how we all do that and impact the world with our being-ness. I could reach out and feel the suffering in other parts of the world and extend compassion. And I thought, wow, in 30 minutes of the compassion exercise, I did feel more understanding, more compassion. My viewpoint shifted, became lighter, more appreciative, more … well, more compassionate.
I was reminded in that moment of how my mother showed so much care and compassion for those suffering in the world. For most of her life she had sent whatever she could to ophanages, schools in need.
I really saw how this exercise allowed me to suspend judgment when I was feeling resistant and I could let go of my resistance to other’s resistance. The walls between us came down. I could care for others without needing anything myself. What a relief!
I looked up the word ‘compassion’, curious about its exact meaning. I had a feel for it, but how was it defined first from Wordnet.com, ‘1. a deep awareness of and sympathy for another's suffering; 2. the humane quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it.’ From Wikipedia, some expanded definition, ‘understanding of the emotional state of another; not to be confused with empathy. Compassion is often combined with a desire to alleviate or reduce the suffering of another; to show special kindness to those who suffer. Compassion may lead one to feel empathy with another person. Compassion is often characterized through actions, wherein a person acting with compassion will seek to aid those they feel compassionate for.”
‘Compassionate acts are generally considered those which take into account the suffering of others and attempt to alleviate that suffering. In this sense, the various forms of the Golden Rule are in part based on the concept of compassion, if also on the concept of empathy.
‘Compassion differs from other forms of helpful or humane behavior in that its focus is primarily on the alleviation of suffering. Acts of kindness which seek primarily to confer benefit rather than relieve existing suffering are better classified as acts of altruism, although, in this sense, compassion itself can be seen as a subset of altruism, it being defined as the type of behavior which seeks to benefit others by reducing their suffering.'
So here it is, give it a go, see how YOU feel after a few rounds of it.
The Compassion Exercise
Honesty with one's self leads to compassion for others.
Objective: To increase the amount of compassion in the world.
Expected Result: Increase in understanding and a personal sense of peace.
Instructions: This exercise can be done anywhere that people congregate (airports, events, beaches, etc.). It should be done on strangers, unobtrusively and from some distance. Try to do all five steps on the same person.
1. With attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is seeking some happiness for (his or her) life.
2. With attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is trying to avoid suffering in (his or her) life.
3. With attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person has known sadness, suffering, and despair."
4. With attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is seeking to fill (his or her) needs."
5. With attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is learning about life."
Copyright 1994 by Star's Edge, Inc. All Rights Reserved
Imagine………. each of us in our busy lives could take a few minutes from our busy days and practice this exercise, I wonder how would things change??
Call me to let me know what happened…….
Or
Join us on the Avatar Course being offered in Austin, Texas
May 3-22, 2008
Call me for details, Joanie Kirk, 505-699-7083
joaniekirk@gmail.com
Author's Bio
Joanie Kirk is an Avatar Master living in Taos, New Mexico. She travels delivering the Avatar tools nationwide. She can be reached at the attached number and email for further information about Avatar the Consciousness Training that will allow you to change your life.
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