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Hot Buttons! What To Do When Feelings Of Jealousy And Anger Are Triggered
By
Nicky Vanvalkenburgh |
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Have you ever felt jealous or envious of a friend?
Suppose you run into a friend at the grocery store. She tells you about something exciting, financially beneficial, glamorous, wonderful beyond belief has happened in her life.
"That's terrific," you say. Initially, you meant every word.
"Why her?" You later think. "What about me? When am I going to get a break?" All of a sudden, your hot buttons are triggered. The joy that you initially felt is replaced with jealousy, envy, and self-pity.
Most of us want other people to be successful and happy. We really do. That's not the problem. The problem comes when we think they're going to be happier or better than we are. That’s when raw emotions flare up, like jealousy or envy.
If you’re aware of your emotions, it is easier to deal with them. We don’t have to let our feelings spiral out of control. Instead, try these "self-talk" statements for turning things around:
1. "I’m happy for my friend. Good for them!" Let go of your negative feelings. Find a way to express happiness for your friend. If the tables were turned, you'd want them to be happy for you.
2. "I'm inspired by my friend's success." Instead of dwelling on negative emotions, allow yourself to be inspired. Perhaps you can think about what you want to accomplish, and how you could make things happen. Use your friend's energy as fuel. Be inspired to pursue your own dreams.
3."If it's possible to them, it's also possible for me." Change your attitude by having a possibility mindset. Allow this optimism to permeate your being, and change your outlook.
At times, almost everyone feels jealous or envious of others. We don't have to dwell on those feelings. Instead of brooding, recognize your feelings and release them. Just let it go. When we release negative emotions (rather than holding on to them), we'll experience happiness and peace of mind. We're also getting on the road to less stress, every time.
Author's Bio
Writer Nicky Vanvalkenburgh is the Director of 20 Minutes to Less Stress.com Get our f ree E-books, "Six Myths about Stress" and "Seven Turn Ons for the Brain" at www.20minutestolessstress.com/
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