How many times have you felt that someone did hurt you on intention?
How many sleepless nights have you spent because of the feeling of being hurt?
Have you ever tried to know whether people really intended to hurt you or whether its jut your lack of understanding of the full picture?
Stand right in front of a big building and look at one of the walls then describe what you are seeing. If you found that you are only seeing a wall then take few steps back and take another look; here you will see a part of a building but if you stepped back again for a bigger distance you will see the whole building or the full picture.
In most cases, people feel hurt because they only see part of the truth while ignoring that full picture that could have made them see this situation in a totally different way.
What do you think makes a car driver shout at you madly if you were about to bump into his car? Is the guy mad? Does he need to learn more about anger management?
No it’s neither this nor that. The man is afraid. Behind any feeling of anger lies fear. The man was afraid that if your car crashed into his car that he will have to pay some money to fix it.
So the man was shouting and screaming but what he was actually trying to say is “I don’t have enough money or time now to fix my car and you were about to cost me lots of money”
But still it hurts
I am not saying that you shouldn’t have any feelings if someone shouted at you but what I was trying to say is that seeing the complete picture will reduce the bad feelings associated with any situation.
Below are few examples of situations that could hurt less if you took into consideration the full picture:
* Someone is shouting at me: He is angry because he is afraid. His fear is behind all of this shouting.
* He dumped me: He doesn’t understand that it is normal for passion to fade away in a relationship and that’s why he did he left me. Sooner or later he will discover that finding another girl wont let passion last forever.
* He is arrogant!!: He feels that he is overlooked and that he deserves more recognition that’s why he is trying to catch others attention by being arrogant
Never look at a single wall but step back to see the whole building. Look at this person’s background, history and values before you judge that he intended to hurt you then see if there were any other intentions behind it.
Emotionally sensitive people usually get hurt because they don’t see others real intention in many of the situations they face. You can’t get rid of your sensitivity but you can make yourself less vulnerable to being hurt by seeing the full picture.
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