Of course, being positive, is universal advice but when you're dating and looking for his long-term commitment, it's really important that you develop the habit of being a positive person. One of men's greatest fears is that the woman they fall in love with will turn into someone who is unhappy.
Here are a few suggestions for developing a more positive attitude:
1) Develop the habit of putting a smile on your face. Smiling creates chemical changes that cause us to feel better.
2) Imagine that there is a smile inside your heart, or wherever you feel your core self resides within you. Make it so real that you begin to carry that feeling around with you all the time. You will have to consciously practice steps 1 and 2 but with time, they will become habits.
3) When you find yourself being negative, upset, frustrated, or angry, look at the situation and see what there is that is valuable in it. Is there a lesson to be learned? is there an opportunity to grow, to know yourself better? Ask yourself why you are being negative or feeling upset? Then do what you can to let go of the harmful feeling and replace it with a positive feeling. Often, just reminding yourself of something you are grateful for is enough to release the steam that has built up within you.
4) Journaling can be very helpful. Get yourself a blank book or binder and whenever you feel the need, write. Write about what you are feeling, about the situation, about what you are learning. Journaling helps to cleanse the soul and gain new insight that you might not have if you hadn’t taken the time to write.
5) Develop an attitude of acceptance. Not to be a doormat so that life walks over you, but to do everything you can to make things work out the way you want, then hand it over to the universe and trust that it will work out. Sometimes it doesn't but you can't blame yourself if you have done everything you can to get the outcome you wanted.
6) Develop a belief that whatever is happening is supposed to be happening or it wouldn't be happening. If you look at every situation as something that is placed before you, either with purpose or by accident, so that you can learn something new about yourself, or to become a better, stronger, wiser person, than you’re less likely to get upset.
7) Look for the good in every person. I don't like everyone I meet, like people who try too hard to be liked and then turn everyone off. But my heart goes out to even those truly undesirable people because I know they are hurting.
8) Do whatever you can to be the most attractive woman you can be. If you need to lose weight, don't make excuses, get out there and start exercising and eating right. There is no other way. Get a good haircut, coloring and style. Make sure your clothes are in good condition and flattering. You don't have to have on the latest style if you’re wearing something that is great on you. Be sure your teeth are healthy and sparkly. Over-the-counter whitening systems work great and can really make a difference. And of course, wear that smile.
9) Don't ever badmouth your ex's. If they were scoundrels, like mine who swindled over $50,000 from me, speak of their deeds without emotion or anger. Always look for the lessons in each relationship that did not work out.
Be upbeat in your conversations. Don't get angry when you discuss things that have happened to you.
10) Don't get angry about politics or religion. These topics should be avoided in the very beginning of dating someone, but when you need to find out how well you are matched, discuss these things in a matter-of-fact, level headed way. If you’re passionate about something, go ahead and express yourself, but do so with Feminine Grace. (Read the chapter from Men Made Easy that describes the power of Feminine Grace at http://www.AliveWithLove.com/beauty/feminine.html )
11) Be grateful. When you go to bed at night make a list of what you’re grateful for. It will begin to train your outlook on life to be much more positive.
12) Be in awe of the magnificent gift of being human, on this amazing planet, at this time in history. Your enthusiasm for being alive will grow with leaps and bounds.
13) Be playful whenever it is appropriate. Have fun with people you meet, young and old. Develop a habit of being the kind of person who makes people feel happy to be alive.
I hope you're getting my point. There is a lot you can do to consciously become a positive person. The more you develop the qualities described above, the more desirable a mate you will become. The greatest benefit to you is that you will be a happier person and enjoy your life more.
With much love,
P.O. Box 21803
Santa Barbara, CA 93121
Kara Oh is a co-contributor to 101 Great Ways To Improve Your Life, Vol. 2
If you’re ready for your relationship to work for you, instead of against you, order Kara Oh’s ebook, Men Made Easy at http://www.AliveWithLove.com/book_info/bookinfo.html
For articles and advice visit http://www.AliveWithLove.com
(Copyright© by Kara Oh, founder of Ever Evolving and Avambre Press)