Stress and infertility, infertility and stress. It's a vicious circle and can be difficult to over-ride. So we know that stress can play a part in the inability to achieve pregnancy and there may be no medical reason why you and your partner cannot conceive, each month that your period arrives compounds the stress. It is as if the universe is conspiring to flaunt pregnancy and early motherhood into your path at all times. You see mothers shouting at their children and it breaks your heart because you wouldn't do that, she doesn't deserve to be a mother, you think.
For many of us, you spend your 20s trying not to get pregnant but when, in your 30s, it is the only thing you can think about, failure to become pregnant can undermine your confidence. You may achieved all your other goals but this is something you have no control over.
What can you do? Reducing the stress your mind and body are under needs to be addressed. When stressed, the body tightened up, inside and outside, so you can imagine what your poor ovaries are like, the pressure they are under! Hypnosis is a proven strategy to help reduce your stress and to relieve the mind of the constant thinking of achieving pregnancy. This is easier said than done but hypnosis really helps to put things into perspective i.e. there is no medical reason for lack of conception. How many times have you heard of couples who decide to adopt or go on a round the world trip, only to fall pregnant. Why? Because the focus was changed.
With hypnosis, the relaxation of mind and body together is very powerful. You will feel a benefit straight away – giving your head some peace as it were. To remember what it was like to be the “fun” you. Because your personality does change when all you focus is on what you don't have. Hypnosis allows you to imagine what pregnancy feels like and future pacing is very powerful because perhaps for the first time you can “allow” yourself to see beyond the conception. These visualizations are performed to set the scene for your subconscious mind – showing the subconscious what it is you really want and how happy and good it makes you feel. So rather than focusing on what is not happening and negativity of that, instead the focus is on seeing and feeling conception occur, the developing foetus, the scans and seeing the development of your baby, the birth and then your home with your new addition. Your subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is real or imagined and when you imagine and can see and feel the pregnancy, then the subconscious mind makes it so.
For those you may have suffered a miscarriage (or 2 or 3 etc), it is important to place the foetus in a protective bubble, giving it security and most importantly, seeing and feeling the development to full term rather than expecting the bleed at the time it happened before. You may feel fear at thinking like this but it is important to override the “expectation” of miscarriage. Hypnosis cannot prevent miscarriage but visualization of the developing baby and the changes in your body week by week, month by month are powerful. This is not about being silly and daydreaming – it is about telling your subconscious mind what you want to happen and how it makes you feel. And as Captain Picard from Star Trek said the subconscious mind says “make it so”.
Zita Stanley is a clinical hypnotherapist/psychotherapist specialising in the areas of anxiety, blushing, infertility, pregnancy and giving birth using hypnosis. She has appeared on Irish television as well as in print. Her offices are in Dublin, Kildare and Limerick. website: zitastanley.com