Many men struggle coming up with witty, clever, and entertaining things to use as a conversation starter. Without engaging a woman in conversation then you'll never be able to meet them. Let's say that you see an beautiful woman and you want to sweep her off her feet with the perfect conversation opener; unfortunately, that's not how attraction works. Very seldom does a woman get attracted to you based on the first words that come out of your mouth. In fact, my own experience and research has taught me that 9 times out of 10, a woman doesn't hear the first words I say, which is why it's important to keep on talking. I talk with an assertive, booming voice so it's not that they are not hearing me, it's that people generally don't hear the first few words you say.

The words "hi" and "hello" have long been touted as the simplest and best conversation starters that a man could use to get things going. Maybe back in the day, but women, men, society, and even the game itself has changed and evolved. Having just written that, I'd still rather see a man walk up to a woman and say "hi" or "hello" than nothing at all. You can't meet a person unless you actually say or do something, which is why doing nothing at all is the worse thing you can do if you spot a woman you find attractive and want to meet her.

Before we get into what makes a good conversation starter, you've got to have a fundamental understanding on what social intelligence is and how to get it. Too often I hear men use pick up lines or pre-canned material that they have learned from other pick up artists, but it did not work for them because they were trying to be something they were not. There are two basic ways to acquire social intellegence: one, is by learning from other, more experienced, men. Two, is by taking massive action. The more social interactions you participate in, the quicker you will learn. If you're only going to approach one woman per week or month then you're not serious enough about learning how to start conversations with women.

I've started conversations by walking up to a group of women in a bar and saying, "Hey, is everyone having a good time?"

I've also asked women what their favorite blue drink was (hint: if a woman asks you what you're drinking that's a big hint to start talking to her). The point I'm trying to make here is that virtually anything can be a conversation starter as long as you're calm, confident, and not seeking to get anywhere with the person or group you are talking with.

Women are generally more in tune with social interactions because they've had far more of them than the average male. Attractive women get approached by men. They seldom approach men directly. The most important thing to keep in mind is to keep your composure, have fun with meeting new people, and not taking this whole process too seriously. Women like talking to men that appear normal, yet have a slight edge to them, and are able to talk with authority and without neediness. This is one reason why telling them early on that you've only got a "couple of minutes" or that you've got to get back with your friends soon works so well. This way they know you're not going to hang around too long and it makes them open up a whole lot easier.

You should use conversation starters that suit your style and personality. I have tendencies to talk about silly things and am known for just saying random words to girls. My conversation starters tend to be a little weird, but it works for me because that's who I have evolved to be. At other times I start conversations by making a simple observation and then adding my own twist to it. As an example of this, just last week I walked by a couple of girls at a taco stand and one of them had this really cool, silver, square-looking bracelet on. So without even thinking I said, "I like your bracelet, I wonder if it's a relfection of your personality. My guess is that it is."

"Oh really?" she replied with ambivalence. "What does it say about my personality?"

Remember not to take this whole conversastion thing too seriously. My whole objective here is to have fun with a stranger and not to get a phone number or a hook up (which oddly enough still leads to me getting phone numbers and hook ups). So I then started saying the first things that came to my mind. "Well it says that when you first meet people you can be pretty quiet, but once they get to know you, you really open up, and sometimes you can't stop talking. It also says that you have a wild side to you that very few people know about."

Silence. After a few seconds she looked me in the eye and said, "Hey, you're pretty good."

To wit I replied, "Thank you, I hear that a lot."

If you open a woman or a group of women with the intent of making them laugh, smile, or just making their day a little bit better than before they met you, and not focus on getting somewhere, you will have a lot more success with the opposite sex.

Author's Bio: 

With more than 4,000 approaches and hundreds of dates to his credit, Rod Cortez has helped thosuands of men in over 44 countries have more dating success. His website at
will quickly and effectively teach you why pick up lines, routines, and hypnotic techniques are not as effective as being your "best" self.