A Definition of the Word Abuse" is excerpted from The Spouse Abuse Tutorial located at .

We begin with a definition of the word abuse.

If you enter the word "abuse" in Google (the internet search engine) it brings up more than 20,000 references. What's interesting is that no two of the web sites that offer abuse support or help use the same definition of the word abuse.

More interestingly, no two teachers in any school, or any two judges in the world, have the same definition of the word abuse.

All the energy and money spent on preventing, eliminating, reducing, or controlling abuse is to no avail until we agree on its definition.

As you read About the Tutorial you will end up with an expanded definition of the word abuse.

About the Tutorial — read the definition of the word abuse that we'll be using throughout the tutorial.


1) Any interaction, any communication, that detracts from the aliveness, well-being, or serenity of another.

2) A way of acting, silence, avoiding (also not answering a question), frowning, pouting, smirking, stink-eye, thwarting, insulting, putting down, invalidating, condescension, raised voice, frightening, shocking, yelling, screaming, jabbing, pushing, shoving, jerking, grabbing, yanking, pulling another's arm in upset, spanking, slapping, bringing to one's senses with a loving firm slap, hitting, punching, or kicking.

Note: This definition is still being refined. Add your comments or feedback via the Message Drop located at http://www.comcom121.org/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=forum&f=1

Author's Bio: 

Kerry has been a communication skills coach in Hawaii for 30+ years. He is president of Community Communications a 501(c)(3) nonprofit education organization.