What is the Law of Attraction?
The Law of Attraction states that “like attracts like.” What you focus your attention on expands. Your thoughts are energy, and create a vibration which can be either positive or negative.
Let’s look at an example. Think of a day when you woke up feeling overwhelmed at what’s on your plate. You might have a job to do, children to feed, an ex to deal with, lawyers to meet with. Typically those mornings start the self-fulfilling prophecy where all the balls you’re juggling start to crash down on your head. According to the Law of Attraction, you helped create that downward spiral by the negative energy you put out there and where you were putting your attention.
Similarly, the days you wake up feeling grateful to be alive start a different type of dynamic. The kids cooperate, you get an unexpected check in the mail and your ex pays you a compliment. A challenge comes up but you handle it with grace and success. That’s the Law of Attraction in action, which author Michael Losier defines as “I attract into my life whatever I give my thoughts, energy and attention to, whether positive or negative.”
Did I Attract My Divorce?
Divorce is a painful experience, so according to the Law of Attraction, you played a part in creating that. Why would you attract such a life-altering event? How were you playing a role in your relationship breakdown? These are tough questions to find answers to, especially if you’re still tender from those divorce wounds.
When you and your ex got together, you were likely operating on the same page. Like two transmitter towers, you were connecting on the same frequency. Over time, you shifted to different frequencies. The clear signal was lost in a sea of static. The relationship was no longer a match for you. It can be tempting to assign blame or rationalize the failure of the relationship. But this is like trying to drive a car while looking only in the rear-view mirror. Not only are you missing the scenery, but you’re not seeing where the potholes are in the road up ahead. Divorce happens but it has gifts to offer and you can use the Law of Attraction to move forward.
The Power of Your Word
The Law of Attraction is always in operation and the challenge for us is to become consciously aware of the kind of results we want to attract. Often we attract things into our life simply because we weren’t paying attention.
The words we use are very powerful and have a big impact on how we feel. Our language provides a big clue as to where our time and focus is going. Law of Attraction expert, Michael Losier, teaches that there are three very powerful words we commonly use that bring us results we don’t want. The words “don’t,” “not,” and “no” pull our attention to things we actually don’t desire and send out a negative vibration.
For example, notice where your attention goes in the following statements. “Don’t be late picking up the kids next time.” “I’m not going to let divorce ruin my self-esteem.” Your focus and attention goes to something negative, namely being late and self-esteem being ruined.
Simply reframing these statements can be a powerful way to harness the Law of Attraction to create positive results. How do these statements feel? “Pick up the children on time.” “My divorce is a doorway to new levels of self-esteem.” Stating your desires in a way that you do want makes you feel more positive and open using that language.
Remember, the Law of Attraction is about attracting that which you do want. The words you choose are powerful tools to start the attraction process. Here are questions to get you started.
1. When you reflect on your divorce, where do you put your time, energy and attention? How do you feel? Spend some time journaling about this.
2. Start the habit of checking in during the day to ask yourself how do I feel?
3. Write out at least 10 statements you use often that contain the words “don’t, not, no.” Rephrase them to be a statement of what you do want.
Carolyn B. Ellis is the Founder of Thrive After Divorce, Inc. A Harvard University graduate, Carolyn is a Certified Master Integrative Coach™, Teleclass Leader and the first Canadian to be certified as a Spiritual Divorce Coach. She has also served as a Staff Coach at the Institute for Integrative Coaching at John F. Kennedy University in San Francisco, CA, and has been trained personally by its founder, NY Times best-selling author Debbie Ford. Her book, The 7 Pitfalls of Single Parenting: What to Avoid to Help Your Children Thrive after Divorce will be published in 2007. She is a member of Collaborative Practice Toronto. Her three amazing school age children and bouncy labradoodle dog are her daily sources of inspiration and joy.
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