About Things That Need To Be Changed
Question:
There are tough times in our family due our two teen aged kids. They are not obeying the house rules. How can we maintain their discipline?
Answer:
We can miss very quickly the point once we concentrate on the issue of obedience and discipline. Let us turn the question away from the issue of controlling the kids to the challenge of guiding and transforming them. It will require you to take a look at YOUR end, and re-asses the nature of your parental authoritative power. Forget the …‘I’m your parent and therefore you do so and so because I say so’… stuff. It belongs to old days that are far gone.
The term of LEADERSHIP is called for.
The essence of leadership, in short, is the ability to build trust that creates sustained loyalty for you. It is also the process of influencing others to adopt and follow your directions and ideas. You, the parents, can be so and do so through modeling and relationship building.
Leadership is built through modeling and relationship building.
Modeling is ‘Leading by example’ or ‘walk your talk’. Check yourselves and your parenting style: do you, the parents, involve your kids with family budget planning and spending? This is an opportunity to model financial awareness and responsibility. Do you expose them to the various ways you choose to refrain from substances while socializing? This models them a decision making process regarding values and cultural norms. In short: show them the ‘how you do’ before you expect them to do.
Relationship Building is an on-going process that requires RECOGNITION and REWARDING.
Recognition means that you acknowledge their needs before you band their wish.
'Rewarding' does not necessarily lead parents to their pockets… Rewarding may be a warm ward, a comforting gesture, a thank you note or just an eye to eye look that reviles your wish to pay attention.
And by the way: when was the last time that you forward one of those goodies to your kids?
Dr. Joseph Abraham – an expert on people’s and business behavior: www.dr-joseph.com
Author's Bio
Director, The Center for Human Growth and Business Insights, Mechanicsburg, PA.
M.A - Psychology, PhD - Behavioral Science and Management.
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