Learning To Let Go Of Your Children's Things Is Not Always Easy, But Necessary

By Stephanie LH Calahan

See all Articles submitted by SelfGrowth.com AdminSee SelfGrowth.com Admin's Expert PageGet Updates on Child DevelopmentGet Updates on SelfGrowth.com Admin

Clutter! Clutter accumulates in various areas of life because you have decisions you are avoiding for one reason or another. De-cluttering is often difficult, because we are forced to face those decision points.

Normally, my family is great at going through things (toys, clothing, books, etc.) twice a year and donating or selling what we no longer need. It is quite automatic in our household - or at least it was. Two years ago I hit a roadblock. Somehow, it was different. I kept putting it off! As an organizer, of course this was embarrassing! What was going on with me? I sat down and asked myself the same questions that we often ask our clients.

The issue came to light. My little boy had turned 5 in February and I was in denial! Couldn't he stay a baby forever? Getting rid of those few remaining things that he had as a toddler was hard, and it was admitting that I now had a little "big boy" rather than my baby. Understanding what I was struggling with helped me to part with his things.

So what is clutter? There are many things that we save for good reason that others may say is clutter, but is it really? When you are looking through your things, whether it is the piles in your office, or that store room you have in the back, start by thinking through the definition of clutter to help you decide if the items are worth keeping.

Clutter: Anything that you own, possess, or do which does not enhance your life on a regular basis.

The winter coat that my little guy wore last year definitely did not live up to that test! Very few of the things I was holding onto did. They were things that he had been willing to give up after all -- I was the one holding on to them!

If decision making is not your strength, accumulating things will be your weakness. There are many strategies for removing the physical clutter from your spaces.

If you are having difficulty letting go of things, do a double check on your feelings. Maybe you are really holding onto a feeling, not an item...

Involve your kids! Sometimes, as parents, we hold onto things our children have already emotionally let go. My mom held onto my Barbie toys for years after I had said I did not want them. . . Listen to your kids. If they do not want the items, consider letting them go.

I did manage to work through my emotional baggage and get all of his things donated or sold as appropriate. I also found, as many of our clients do, that those held decisions were taking space in my mind. I felt so much better once that space was cleared. Now that was over two years ago now. My "big boy" is even bigger and he has turned 7! I still have a difficulty with his aging, but I can let go easier now. I wish you the same success!