Live Life on Your Own Terms

By Cookie Tuminelllo

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There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.” - Aldous Huxley

There is no doubt about it. The winds of change are upon us. The degree to which you succeed in your life and your business will be your willingness and ability to adapt to change. And during trying economic times, your degree of adaptability is going to either make you or break you when it comes to your business.

This is not the time for us as women to pull back and retreat into our cushy comfort zone. This is the time for us to step up to the podium, claim our personal power, and be recognized as the movers and shakers in our businesses that we really are. This is the time for us to dump the ‘shrinking violet’ syndrome and be proud of who we are and what we have accomplished along life’s path.

The problem is that we have been trying to do business according to other people’s standards and expectations, which has left us frustrated, exhausted, and unfulfilled. It has even caused us to sabotage our own success because we are constantly trying to think, act and feel in a way that is in total conflict with our own authenticity, inner integrity and core values as women.

We women tend to judge our worth by other’s measuring sticks, and most of the time that stick is so high up in the stratosphere, a Boeing 747 couldn’t even attain that height!

Here are just a few of the ways we sabotage ourselves in our personal and professional lives:

• We are afraid to ask for what we really want.
• We often use excuses, usually involving money and time, for not taking advantage of opportunities that are right in front of us.
• We allow fear of rejection and failure to get in the way of taking action.
• We don’t always have enough confidence in ourselves so we hold back.
• We allow others expectations of us to determine our own actions.
• We are afraid to raise our fees because some of our clients might leave.
• We settle for less than what we really want because we feel like we don’t have any other choices... about much of anything!

The good news is that there is a solution!

Defining and living your life on your terms, in your integrity, and YOUR Core Values. It is using your Core Values to make all your decisions. Core values are your own personal standards of excellence - your own personal set of ‘rules’ if you will. Core values are who you are, not who you want to be or should be.

Now, I know on a practical level you have a sense of what your Core Values are, but do you really have a sense of who you are and what is important to you on a core (heart and soul) level? Probably not!

I’d like to ask you to do the following exercise. This week, take some quiet time by yourself and with paper and pen, ask yourself some soul searching questions.

For example:

• What is most important to you?
• When are you at your happiest?
• How does that happiness feel like to you?
• How is it showing up - or not showing up in your life?
• What do you need to change to be in alignment with your Core Values?
• Who do you need to BE to have the life you want and deserve?

It all boils down to one thing. Do you want to live your life in mediocrity or live a life filled with peace, love, joy, passion, abundance, and prosperity?

The choice is yours. Choose wisely.