Someone told me that love conquers all. Yes, that is what she said. She said Love conquers all. However, she did give me an exception. She told me that the only thing that love cannot conquer is a toothache.
Her assertion that the only thing more powerful than love is a toothache is worth debating, alright, but I will not debate it. In fact, I don’t even believe it. What I do believe is the initial statement she made, namely that Love conquers all.
I think even the Bible says so, somewhere in its vast number of pages. It says that love believes all things, hopes all things, bears all things, endures all things….I hope I quoted right.
Now how true is that statement? Can a little ingredient of love make any difference in your relationships with others? I believe so. So how can it really?
Let’s look at the definition of love first.
I came up with my own, after considering a number of factors: Love is the tenderness that we feel for somebody; the genuine concern about their welfare; and the desire for them to succeed and be happy. Love puts self out of sight, and hopes for the betterment of the loved subject even at the expense of the lover.
With that definition in place, let’s see how love can conquer all the problems that may develop between individuals, in a family, and even those of the world.
Most misunderstandings which may occur between two people in any relationship are due to selfishness and lack of consideration. The desire to get what one wants notwithstanding the other person’s wishes is often what drives a wedge between friends and acquaintances.
Let us imagine, for example, that there are two good friends, John and Trevor. On this particular day, they are in a festive mood, and they seat down to decide what kind of affair they should engage themselves in. Trevor loves fishing, so he suggests that the two friends go fishing. John on the other hand loves swimming, so he suggests that they go swimming. None of these two want to compromise, and they are both adamant about what they want to do. Eventually, a quarrel issues and degenerates into a fight. After they are quieted down, the two friends are no longer good friends. In fact they become enemies and they swear that they should never meet again.
Now, how can love help solve their problem? Well, since it conquers all things, how can it help out in Trevor and John’s situation? Yes, how can it help out in their apparently insurmountable problem?
Firstly, since love is selfless, and cares more about what the other person wants, it should move these friends to feel remorse for being so self-centered. It should move them to put aside personal grievances and make up. In fact, love should move them to give in to the other’s desires. Yes, love will move them to apologize and make up and never insist on their own personal desires at all. And so you see, love will move them to mend their relationship – a thing which seemed utterly insurmountable.
If the two friends had showed love in the first place, their problem could have been avoided.
The truth is that if you love someone, you are all out to pleasing them, and their happiness is what you are most concerned about. You are more than willing to give up personal preferences in order to humor them.
Let’s consider another example.
A man, tired from work, slogs towards his house. As he reaches the door, he realizes that he has forgotten to do something: He has forgotten to buy the vegetables that his wife asked him to get from the grocery store on his way from work.
As he enters the house, his wife warmly welcomes him. However, upon noticing that he has forgotten the vegetables, she turns savage and pelts him with a barrage of hard-hitting words.
His first impulse is to lash out at her. He did not do it deliberately: he is tired and all he cared for was getting home to rest. She does not even know how wretched he is feeling and yet she is going on and on as if he did it on purpose. However, he decides to acquiesce and admit his error. He loves his wife and wants her to be happy. In a very humble gesture, he offers to go back and get the vegetables. You can imagine how happy his wife feels, and instantly her demeanor changes. Yes, love has conquered! It has diffused a potentially dangerous situation and prevented the disintegration of this marriage.
Of course, there are many situations in which love has conquered and can conquer, and I cannot manage to mention all of them. But I cannot not just end here without saying that love does not look for error. Rather, it looks for strengths. Love looks beyond a few flaws and sees the potential an individual has for good. Indeed, love is blind, they say. Love is blind to minor flaws (perhaps even major ones).
People have sung about it, people have written about it. They have bravely declared that they do not care who a person is and what a person did, as long as that person loves them. At first, such a view struck me as irrational.
However, recently, I had a change of heart. I met this young lady who owned up and told me that she has a dark past. And true, as I spent time with her, I became aware of her flaws. But oddly, I did not care about them. I knew the flaws could be overcome. I saw the potential in her for good. I saw a lovely person in her. And all I knew in the end is that I cared for her, notwithstanding what she ever did in her past: all that simply did not matter.
Yes, love conquers all things. If the world showed only a little love, just a little more love, we could solve nearly all our problems. No one would have more than the other, because we would all share. No one would despise each other because we would all love each other. No one would insist on his own way, because we would all put the other first. No one would war against the other, because we would not want to hurt anyone.
Yes, love conquers all things, and no one would really understand it unless they fall in love.
Michael Sinkolongo Writes stories that dissect human relationships. His short stories can be found at: writing-lovers.com