YOU DIDN’T CAUSE IT, YOU CAN’T CURE IT, AND YOU CAN’T CONTROL ITby Dr. Sparks Lunney

When someone we care about is in danger, it is only natural to want to do something. Our hand reaches out automatically when a loved one loses their balance and is about to fall. Parents, understanding they are protecting their teen from the consequences of facing the world on their own, tap inner resources to find the patience to cope with rebellious adolescents. When someone you love becomes alcoholic, the same impulse to help can easily translate into actions such as blaming yourself, hiding bottles, or calling your hung-over loved one’s employer saying he or she is sick today and won’t be in. Although these behaviors spring from a loving impulse, they are not actually loving actions. They do not help your alcoholic loved one. They do not help you. They are harmful to you and your alcoholic loved one.

You did not cause your loved one’s alcoholism. Alcoholism is a progressive and often fatal disease with a heavy genetic influence. You cannot cure your loved one’s alcoholism. Alcoholism is not curable. It is, however, completely arrestable. To recover from alcoholism requires complete abstinence from alcohol on the part of the alcoholic. You cannot control your loved ones alcoholism. Only the alcoholic can, and only by complete abstinence. If your loved one wants to drink – they will find a way.

Take a look at these 20 questions
http://www.southfloridaal-anon.org/isalanon.html. If you have an alcoholic loved one – you will certainly recognize yourself. If you did recognize yourself, you need to attend Al-Anon meetings. Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. It is next to impossible for a family member to untangle themselves from their alcoholic loved one’s distorted behavior, thinking and emotions without the support, encouragement and straight information you will get at Al-Anon meetings.

Chronic illnesses effect every member of the family. This is especially true with a disease like alcoholism. One of the most powerful and loving things you can do for your alcoholic loved one is to take care of your self. Often, it is a family member’s attendance at Al-Anon and the resultant personal growth, which eventually influences the alcoholic family member to enter the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous and recover.

Below are two wonderful multi-media web-sites, which are helpful for anyone coping with an actively alcoholic loved one.

http://www.ishaah.com/Today3.htm

http://www.addictions.org/serenity.htm


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