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Marriage Was Made For People - People Were Not Made For Marriage.
By
Diane E Babcock |
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Marriage was made for people...People were not made for marriage.
Be glad we don't live in a place where marriages are arranged or we are restricted to certain partners like a religious cult. Been there, done that. The best advice you can ever gave yourself was to discard any lingering baggage from childhood and get to know yourself really well before you settle down into a relationship. There is nothing worse than sacrificing yourself to an institution that you don't even know if you believe in yet because you don't know your self at all. The saddest thing about the institution of marriage has been the words, "'Til death do us part" where it has been taken literally instead of symbolically in that the death is of the love between them.
The most important person in this world is you and getting to know that person should be the first step in anyone's life. Each step you take after that becomes a deliberate choice where even the thorns recede on the path at the very sound of your footsteps. That's very poetic, eh!
· Marriage is not a purpose in life...life itself is purpose that may or may not include marriage(s).
· Marriage may happen once, often, or never in a lifetime and may last hours, days, months, years, or decades. You may be gun-shy after the first one and dance around it for years.
· Marriage is a confirmation to the rest of the world that you are making a commitment to stay with another person through thick and thin for as long as your capacity to love will sustain you.
· Marriage is not a ball and chain where no one has the key, it is opportunity to stay by choice.
· Marriage is not the ultimate in life, love is, and marriage becomes a curse without it.
· Marriage should complement an already full life, not hinder it.
“The person of your dreams may stay in your dreams for a long time until you are ready to meet them in the real world.”
“Relationships are for sharing loves with another...not obligations.”
This the line that you do not want to cross.
· Abuse and violence is an in-your-face signal to get out of the relationship the very first time it happens. It is a form of murder of the spirit and precedes murder of the body. You will not find those words in any definition of love through any of the ages, only from the lips of the egotistical masochist. You can pervert your perception of the word all you like, but love will never cross that line. If you find yourself accepting abusive behaviour through fear or conditioning, remember that more people die in a marriage than a divorce. At the same time you could cause your own child's death down the road just by showing them how to accept it. You will find that sorry doesn't mean to the abuser what it should and you will be more than sorry when your reflex action takes control where your brains should have. You will also be saving the abuser from the consequence of a murder trial. Think your way out.
A Marriage License does not contain the word 'kill'.
"Til death do us part" should be taken as death of the marriage, not of a person
· Conforming, controlling, and otherwise manipulating someone into what you want or planning to change someone after marriage is never a part of love, but a sign of your own insecurity. You will never be happy in the relationship and will reap the backlash of resentment and hostility. Also, you will never have a real love, only a two-legged pet, until it expires and you get another.
· Infidelity is a heartless and cruel act that begins with merely a thought. A relationship is not the place to play with the dangerous love-bug or another person's affections. Resolve to remove yourself from the relationship or give your partner the opportunity to make that choice for his or her self. It is yet another sign of insecurity that we must test a love that we are unsure of or cannot even attain in ourselves. At least own up to your weak mindedness and don't be surprised by any of the natural or logical consequences that may result from your actions and lack of foresight. It truly is unacceptable behaviour in a relationship and is a sign you need to get out.
· Lying to yourself when a marriage is not working will cause torment in deluding yourself that it is, because deep down you hold the truth and it will eat at your nervous system and show itself through addiction or disease.
· Mid-life crises are great excuses for people who have no mind of their own and we all go through many hormonal and emotional extremes in our lives. Much too often the old mental state of an affair sets in and takes the entire family for a hellish roller coaster ride through tunnels of emotional turmoil. It is a sign that they have been ignoring the loves in their life for far too long.
Author's Bio
I am a Vancouver Island girl and single parent of one son since 1981. I started writing as a way of self-discovery in 1991 using the non-dominant hand method and found that I had a lot inside on a profoundly inspirational and philosophical level. The first half of these poems were published into a book in 1994 called ‘Charges – Inspirational Poetry’ and now they are all on my Dedanart web site. In 1993 my writing developed into a passionate and deliberate style when I found that I could write on demand. I have written many impromptu poems and at the request of others always stretching my emotional limits with love and other emotions, especially when writing tributes and eulogies. I also write stories that carry the essence of the experience as I have lived a lot of life so I have much to draw on.
My hobbies are bowling, walking, hiking, travel, writing and graphic design. My careers since my youth are so varied that someone could call out 'Jill' (of-all-trades) and I would respond...and I have worked myself out of many jobs just by getting very good at them. I currently run my own writing and design business, Cool Tech Writing & Design, which focuses on instructional and promotional projects and enjoy immensely being my own boss.
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