Helping Others When You Need Help

For those of us who do help others, an uncomfortable question inevitably arises: how can I help someone else when I’m messed up myself? If I’m overweight, have bad habits, relationship issues, fears and phobias, who am I to offer my assistance to someone else?

We are all on the journey to wholeness. So it follows that we all have issues to address and lessons to learn. If we had to be completely healed and issue-free to be able help others, there would be no healers. Nonetheless, it has been a continuous source of amazement to us to observe people in roles of helping others who do not make any attempts to resolve their own issues. Maintaining a high level of personal integrity is critical in any helping profession.

Our new e-book, The Heart and Soul of Being Therapeutic, addresses common issues that can interfere with helping others. We all need to look honestly at ourselves and do our best to be available for our clients. If you can acknowledge your frailties, you are well on the road to resolving them. Of course, in the role of serving others, you don’t want to become paralyzed by your problems.

Sometimes, it may be most appropriate not to work with a client who is dealing with an issue that you are dealing with, too. The key is to know whether or not your issues will get in the way. Being able to set them aside and remain in a centered and grounded place to help your clients is what is important to the success of your practice. In some cases, the healing that then occurs will be for both of you. In other cases, you may need to refer the person to someone who is in a better position to help.

It is also important to apply the healing techniques you use with others to your own life. Just as people want your help because they know you can help them, so, too, can you help yourself, even if this means seeking out another practitioner to assist you.

To quote a maxim, “Do what you can, where you are, with what you have.” At the same time, trying to be perfect is an issue in itself, indicating that the ego feels that it needs to be better than it is. We all have to develop a level of comfort with ourselves, addressing the issues that cross our paths, while recognizing that we do not need to be perfect.

“I’m Good at Helping Others, but Not Myself”

Susan, one of our holistic healing students, had unsuccessfully tried so many ways to resolve her issues related to weight and relationships that she questioned her ability as a healer, in spite of her successes. Her limiting belief was “I’m good at helping others, but not myself.”

Phillip helped her by using a Break Thru Process, which is described in our "Getting Thru to Your Emotions with EFT" book. This activation process is great for anyone who is ready to transcend limitations, such as quitting smoking, losing weight, or cleaning out clutter.

Susan felt this stuck energy pattern about being unable to heal herself in the third chakra, feeling powerless and victimized. In the Break Thru Process, she saw herself moving along a road surrounded by dead grass. She then came to a rustic gate. Before going through this transformative gate, she had the opportunity to do a final cleansing. She threw all her remaining fear, sadness, and disempowerment into a purple flame of transformation that burned by the side of the road.

She then went through the gate. On the other side, the grass was wonderfully green. She also came into contact with a red-orange healing color, as she began to dance along the road. It reminded her of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz skipping merrily down the road.

Phillip asked her what she now believed about herself. She confidently responded, “I’m a powerful healer, for myself as well as others.”

Three months later, Phillip asked Susan how she felt about this issue of being limited in helping others because she needed healing herself. She commented that she used hiking to help her continue to integrate the powerful shifts from the Break Thru Process. Susan reported that she had gone hiking regularly, and had not had any accidents, which made her feel healthy and reassured about herself.

Previously, accidents and self-esteem issues prevented her from hiking regularly. She felt strong in her body, not a victim of being overweight. She also got many creative ideas while hiking. Susan asserted that she now knew on a deeper level that she could heal herself as well as others.

FINAL THOUGHTS

So if healing others is part of your purpose, you might find Susan’s story particularly relevant. It might encourage you to do your own Break Thru Process.

In any event, we all have a need at times to heal ourselves. It is fortunate we are living in a time when so many healing techniques are becoming widely available. Luckily, you don’t have to be perfect before you can help another. Remember that we are all in this thing together, so it’s natural to help others, taking into account your background, training, and the particular situation.