My EFT Story - Getting To The Root Of The Problem by Sheila Murrey

Quite simply EFT cured my addiction / habit of finger picking/chewing. And I believe my story might help others so I feel compelled to share it.

You may be wondering what I mean by “picking my fingers”. Years ago I quit biting my finger nails but I only traded that habit for something less noticeable. I began pulling at my cuticles, hang nails or any other rough areas of skin around my finger nails.

About a year ago I bought a book called "Tapping the Healer Within" because my acupuncture doctor had told me about it, and because I had tried everything else. I found that book to be a bit convoluted and besides, it mostly dealt with phobias and anxieties – neither of which I thought I had. More importantly it was difficult for me to hold the book and try to tap on my body with my other hand. Or maybe that was just my excuse - but the book, though interesting to me, wasn’t enough to help me.

Then a few weeks prior to my personal EFT visit with a local therapist, my husband and I watched a show on TLC called "I Can Make You Thin".

One of the episodes showed the host using EFT to help people overcome their food cravings. Because I had also tried everything to lose weight, I decided that I really needed some one-on-one personal guidance with both my weight issues and the finger picking habit. Enter my local EFT practitioner Janice Cunningham (HealthQuest Titusville, Florida).

After a 2.5 hour session on a Saturday with Janice, where I described both issues fully I found total resolution to some deep seated wrong mental programming,

I had the best night’s sleep in years. I guess I had not even realized that my sleep pattern had also been an issue. So, aside from experiencing a cure of the finger picking, I have not picked since the session with Janice that day, I have also been wanting to exercise, eat less and so forth, so the session also helped me let go of weight issues. I believe letting go of those issues has already aided in my weight loss.

Over all, I've had the wonderful side affect of breathing 100% better (I've had asthma since I was six years old) and that was also a reason why I couldn't do a lot of strenuous exercise, that now, I can.

I have worked on my asthma for the last few years using acupuncture, HT Healing Touch (also energy work) and RT Raindrop Therapy but I'd been telling Nora Ross (my healing angel, licensed massage therapist specializing in HT/RT also of Titusville, Florida) that there was just one last little bit of bronchial stuff in my lungs, I could feel it and it didn’t want to seem to leave. Every so often, if I had an allergic trigger, I would wheeze from the asthma again. We'd been working on it but it was just something small I thought might never go away. It was a small vestige of the asthma that, for whatever reason, my body (mind/spirit) would just not let go of. Now, it's gone. The EFT aided my body to let it go also!

I have been walking/jogging, first time in ten years, for about two miles. Even by cut grass and weeds that before would have sent me into an asthma frenzy!

Now I am breathing fully and deeply with no hint, no vestige of asthma left in my lungs at all. Period.

I had made my appointment with Janice for two reasons. I had sought to overcome the finger picking and for help getting beyond my weight loss issues. I anticipated the fingers would be a small issue and that the weight might take some time. Actually, it was the opposite. We spent nearly two hours going back into my past, into my former marriage, teenage years and finally, childhood years. I realized that I had picked up my habit of finger nail biting at the same time I had been diagnosed with the asthma - when I was six years of age. My mom has always been a terrible nail biter, right into the pink, so I knew I’d picked up the habit from my mom but I didn’t realize just how much of a connection there was between that habit, my asthma, and my mom.

I realized fully during my session that when my mom’s father died, my grandfather, that this deeply affected me. I was six years old, coincidently I was diagnosed with asthma at six years of age also. My grandfather had died at home after being in the hospital for cancer surgery. He had been brought home with the understanding that the doctors had done all they could do. We’ve all said for years that at least my grandfather died at home.

The important thing about that experience for me, as a child, was the connection of that event, how upset my mom was and how connected to my mom I had been. My mom was very upset (rightly so) about losing her father. And I vividly recall believing if she could lose him, I could lose her. I couldn't live - couldn't breathe in fact - without my mom.

During my EFT session I remembered night after night, as a child, I would pray and beg God not to take my mom away from me because I was so connected to her that I couldn't live without her.

This may not make sense to many people, but I am an only child, and the only one who lived, of the six pregnancies my mom had.

My mom (and dad) have always told me how much they love me (not a bad thing in and of itself) and how precious I am, a gift, etc. I believe because of this I became a super responsible person. I have held deep seated beliefs of: “I had to live up to any and all expectations my parents had for me since - I was the only one”, “I am the precious one who lived”, etc. This was probably not a good thing. At least, not to the excess I had taken it.

My EFT session felt a bit like a combination of counseling, hypnosis (though I was awake and totally aware of what was happening) as though Janice was talking to me on a deep level.

During the session Janice recommended I take some notes, both of things I was becoming aware of and how to be able to run through this process again on my own if need be.

I noted that I had always tried to “save my mom”.

I am not my thoughts.

My perception influenced my thoughts but my perceptions were wrong.

The genie is out of the bottle.

I do not need the old thoughts.

Am I the thought or the awareness?

Am I “this” thought, or am I the awareness of “this” thought?

Who sent “this” thought? (My pain-body)

Examine “this” thought. It will probably be a limiting thought, a no-win thought, and one that would eventually bring pain.

To let go of “this” thought: 1) focus on the feeling of my breath in and out, 2) be the observing presence.

When I observe I suspend space.

Inspiration = In spirit, and inspiration fills me, lights me up from the inside – the same as when someone is in creative mode you feel the creative energy inside, in your heart/chest not in the head area.

The Aha moment is when the head agrees to the inner knowing.

My nails = my own fear and anxiety to my feeling as though I could never fix/help/save my mom.

A trigger for me is when I am faced with something I can’t do anything about, when I feel a sense of powerlessness.

But I’m a super responsible person – I’m supposed to do something. (This is the conflict that causes the habitual negative behavior).

Janice uses EFT in a compassionate and caring, knowledgable way. She mentioned that she has other tools at her disposal though she only used EFT on me. I think she must have some psychology and child development background because she really hit upon so many things – hit the nail on the head so to speak – that she just got to the root of my two issues – completely.

The end result of the two hours for my fingers, were that every difficulty my mom had ever had, in her marriage, health, etc I felt as though I needed to help her, i.e. save her. Though she has a very strong faith in Jesus, it was always something I had felt - I needed to save her. Once we broke this down, got to this deep seated REASON for my habit, so many other things were lifted within my mind and body as well.

For several years I have known that there was a reason I had been married twice prior to now, to re-live my parents marriage. Psychoanalysis over the years and my reading many self help books showed me that I'd been trying to sort out many events in my parents (seemingly difficult) marriage via marrying men who I could “fix”. I became a codependent, educated and skilled professional, even working in a relatively similar field of work as my dad. I had all sorts of experiences trying to resolve my parents’ issues that I'd seen/experienced. Year after year I felt I needed to have these experiences in order to understand my parents’ relationship. EFT helped me realize that even if I could pluck my mom out of her seemingly dysfunctional marriage, that the change would not bring her happiness and that after all - it is what it is, and I cannot change it.

I learned years ago in 12-step programs I cannot "fix" anyone. But I had never applied that learning to my relationship with my mom. Until my EFT session I never deeply/fully understood that it was my parents’ relationship I had been trying to fix, and certainly never realized that it was my mom who I had been trying to “save”.

That “saving” realization has freed me. Now, I am sure I still have other issues to work, but wow, I really have that peace that passes all understanding! I have just been able to deal with things and just “be”.

The session sort of felt as though it was sort of a combination of counseling, hypnosis (though I was awake and totally aware of what was happening) but it seemed as though she was talking to me on a deep level. Janice uses EFT but also is so compassionate and caring, and she must also have some psychology background because she really hit upon so many things – hit the nail on the head so to speak – that she just got to the root of my two issues – completely.

One of the times when I pick at my fingers the worst is during drama/emotional movies and TV shows. The second night after my EFT therapy my husband and I watched an overly dramatic movie and my husband couldn’t believe I did not pick at my fingers. So he’s a believer now too. One of my coworkers noticed that I had somehow changed, telling me she thinks I am calmer and seemingly more at ease during pressure-filled stressful work situations!

I can't say enough about EFT. If you think you've tried everything to find relief from anxiety, depression, weight issues, nerve problems, etc I implore you to seek out an EFT therapist in your area. You do not need to "believe in it" for it to work for you. And what do you have to lose?


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