High School Stress

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High school years should be a great experience, but many demands and rapid changes can make them one of the most stressful times of life. Students today face increasing amounts of schoolwork, a rapidly changing curriculum, assignment deadlines and exams; they worry about selecting careers and post secondary programs, and they must balance schoolwork with sports, hobbies and social life. They have conflicts with parents, friends, siblings; have to cope with unpredictable moods, concerns about appearance, fitting in with a peer group - and also handle love relationships and sexuality. Money is always a worry, as is dealing with issues of alcohol and drugs - and now there's a new fear of violence in and around schools. As if that wasn't enough, they have to deal with all this while undergoing rapid physical and emotional changes - and without the benefit of life experience.

But on the positive side, these challenges are perfect for developing what many experts believe is more important than IQ in predicting future success in work, personal and financial life: the 'Emotional Quotient' or 'EQ' . The EQ includes: awareness of one's emotions, strengths and limits, developing self esteem, taking responsibility, having empathy for others, self-control, and setting high standards while being persistent in the face of obstacles. Here are some other skills that will help students thrive at high school - and beyond:

Learn to balance the demands on your time. Plan well in advance (leaving time to just veg out!), get organised - and fight procrastination. With a vivid picture of your goals in mind, stay ahead of schoolwork from day one - do it first, limit TV, and refuse to waste 20 hours a week working to buy stuff you don't really need.

Practise effective worrying: list stresses and look for solutions - or change your attitude. Understand stress symptoms: tiredness, poor concentration, headaches, stomach trouble and insomnia. To control symptoms, learn relaxation and mental imagery techniques, then adapt them to improve memory, sleep - and performance in presentations and exams. Hard exercise relaxes and makes you feel stronger and more confident, but too much caffeine, alcohol and other drugs will do the opposite.

Anxiety levels depend largely on our thoughts about a situation, so be accurate - how bad is it on a scale of 1-10? Is it terrible - or just inconvenient? Learn from mistakes or bad situations and realize they won't last forever. Don't forget to use laughter to reduce tension and put things in perspective. Volunteer work doesn't just look good on a resume - it reduces stress and makes you feel better about yourself.

Communication skills - assertiveness, listening, resolving conflicts and dealing with difficult people - help you make friends and deal effectively with teachers (and parents!) Find support from friends, family and teachers - how have others you respect handled similar situations? Many schools now provide information and courses on stress.

Prolonged stress can lead to depression and even thoughts of suicide, so if you feel totally overloaded, or life seems hopeless, seriously consider professional counselling, it's not a sign of weakness.

Parents often feel stressed and frustrated too, but they must realize that the brains of teens are physically different from adults, they don't see things in the same way, and they react differently. Parents can help enormously by setting a good example, being patient, spending time with teens and really listening to them , accepting and loving them unconditionally, setting limits according to maturity - but allowing them to learn from mistakes. They can help teens recognise their emotions, develop coping strategies, and build on their talents so that they leave high school ready to take on the new challenges of adult life.

Dr. Rainham is the author of the book 'Stressed Out' - Taking Control of Student Stress', an interactive Teacher's Guide, and other student stress and coping materials. For more information, visit www.optimumhealth.ca or call 1-800-771-5776

Author's Bio:

Dr. David Rainham is a family physician, author and speaker.
visit www.optimumhealth.ca

Felix Rosewood (Insurance)

I miss those high school years no matter how awkward they were!

Guest

can i get a citation for this article?

India

I'm a Freshman in high school (age 13 too) and its always so stressful!The work at school is all right but none of what they teach us is on the test.I freak out every time we have a test.Every night i have home work that keeps me up until 1, even on weekends.I even skip meals to do it and its still takes a long time.I've got freaking bags under my eyes and fall asleep in class.I'm getting migraines again, too.I really wish that teachers would think about what there giving us because it seems i get three huge and confusing projects due in three days, some times on the same day.What's really irritating is hearing my teachers complaining about all they have to grade and then trashing it right in front of our eyes when we turn it in, just because she/he didn't feel like grading another set of papers.Really, whats the point of giving us a whole seven- sectioned chapter to outline or answer 50 in-depth questions on, if you're just going to toss it into a recycle bin?

christopher

hi,am a kenyan student who si totally dedicated to reading but the problem is that some people are there to disturb and thats all they do yet they dont even excel,if you are out there and you are having a hard time reading all you need to do is to be dedicated and know that you have a whole life ahead of you.good luck and God bless.

Guest :)

When was this article written? I badly need it, it's for my thesis :) thanks in advance!

agreed! High school is a pain! Especially the first weeks when everything is new and you have to start all over again on how your teachers want you to do things. Its just not that easy anymore and we have to get passed it to move on with our lives.

hi i hate school and i hate mr . roberts

Kellie paradiso

i hate school! i failed math the first 2 quarters and been through 4 different tutors. im taking my stress out on my boy friend and freaking out. i always get so stressed i start to scream and cry, im also failing spanish and maybe global..im in grade 9. my dream is to become a baker. and open my own bakery or work with my inspiration. buddy valastro. and i feel like with the poor effort i cant do that and i wont be able to take baking electives next year. PLEASE help me please.

Sarah

Ugh, I feel the same way! I'm failing science, and it's just too much stress for me to handle. I'm loosing sleep over it and it doesn't help that I don't understand the material. I hate this.

Kate

don't worry you'll make it:)

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I cant believe ive even made it to Grade 12 and man when I leave school all I want to do is burn down the school. Every time I think about school its hard to breathe and I get really sick physically too. I feel like those hours ive wasted at that brainwash institution are parts of my life I will NEVER GET BACK but had to be forced to give to learn useless facts that NOBODY EVER USES IN LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sick of this fucked up freakshow. I cant tell you how many times i've contemplated suicide because of this prison styled facility. I'm 17 but I feel like my life is coming to a close because these assignments make me cry and feel helpless.

This is rediculous, I' am up every SINGLE night till 12 o' clock at least doing homework, the days that i dont do homework such as weekends when I should be out socializing and having fun I' am stuck in my room doing assignments, im so sick of this bullshit im in year 10 I really hate my life. I dont know how im ever going to become a vet if i can't even handle High School. And IAM SICK TO DEATH OF TEACHERS THEY MAKE US STRESSED BECAUSE THEY HAVE A DEADLINE THERE SO LAZY FFS.

highschool is horrible for me. i am a junior and go to a small, private, and extremely competitive school. I have an average of three tests a day, and 6 hours of hmwk, not too mention working every night and taking care of my little sister. I find myself crying hysterically four nights a week because i just vouldnt work fast enough, and am purely exausted from lack of sleep and never just relaxing. I take five college classes now and it is just impossible. I am under so much pressure and i just wanna give up and have some fun before college, but that can't happen since my parents expect nothing less then acceptance into harvard or priceton! please help me!

I am so shocked to hear about your story. Im in grade 12 and am doing six subjects that is famous for being known as the "suicide six". I work incredibly hard and just want to die sometimes. The upside is that my parents dont expect anything besides me doing my best. Tell your parents that they should only expect your best. And your best cannot be achieved when you are helping out with your little sister's upbringing. You must feel so sad, and alone, and depressed. Please, hang in there. Just look at the bigger picture. You are training and working your brain so much that your offspring will be so intellectual. Just do your best. Dont care what other people think of you. If you dont get accepted into Harvard or Priceton, then who cares you did your best! You will burn out if you keep working yourself to death - trust me ive been there. But you just have to lift yourself up and look at your benefits, opportunities and privilleges. Just do your best, thats all anyone can expect from you.

Will

High School is driving me crazy!!! Especially this year because it is my junior year. I have come very close to losing it, but try very hard not to. I carry a 5 inch binder to and from school and also have done lots of all nighters and late nights. The lowest amount of sleep I have ever had this year has been 30 minutes. I then drive to school the next day, surviving on coffee and witts. I am not taking AP and I want to be a train engineer for the Union Pacific Railroad. I am also trying to become an Eagle Scout. I really wish I could take a vacation.

when you are stress in middle school 8th grade you might want to find ways to become unstress.

hey becky, i read your comment and i just want you to know that you sound like a very strong person. not many people are so brave to seek help or advice, really. i am one in need for advice myself, but i want to tell you something about stress. stress causes other things. high school stress is just there to let you know that you are worrying about your future. if you think you are stressing too much, then you probably are. just do your best, because no one is allowed to think or expect anything more than that. and whatever happens, just know that i am a complete stranger in the world, who will pray for you. and you will succeed. God bless

Hi Becky. I read your comment and want to make sure that you don't do anything drastic to make your situation better. Just know that someone out there cares about you and I'm sure that no one around you wants you to take any extraordinary measures. Feel better. :)

High school or school all together can be very stressful at times. I was one of those people who always skipped because I couldn't keep up with the school work. But in the end it wasn't worth all the trouble I got into. No matter what you do your life is always going to have stress in it. But don't let it effect you, do some exercise or play a game to get your mind off of all the stress. Its better to stay in school and not skip, them to skip and get in trouble your grades WILL reflect on all the trouble you got into.

Missy

School can be awful stressful and you will often feel like skipping to get caught up on some school work but don't make it a habit because when you get back there will ALWAYS be more work waiting.. Also it will be hard to give up weekends to do school work but set aside friday night or sunday afternoon to get it all done. :)