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ABOUT LETTING GO
By
Nancy Reeves |
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ABOUT LETTING GO
By Nancy Reeves, Ed.S., LPC
You can’t take it with you, and you can’t carry it around everywhere. As therapists, we have to learn to let go so we can help others do it. We need to know what it means and how to do it ourselves. Some synonyms for ‘let go’ from the thesaurus: dismiss, part with, release. However, we also associate these words with letting go: surrender and abandon.
In psychological terms letting go means: I accept what is; I may not like it, but I can accept it. I relinquish my need to control. Letting go gives me room to grow. I do not have to trouble myself with obsessing about it. I have no need to be manipulative and play games. I can trust that a power greater than I will handle the details. This may not be what I need to hold on to; it’s not really in my best interest. My heart must learn to give and receive freely, joyously, and without expectations.
We practice letting go of the thoughts and emotions that keep us stuck. We learn to release negativity, sadness, neediness, games and manipulative behaviors, denial, pretending about reality, blindness to the truth, the need to tell or talk about the things that cannot be changed, complaining, willfulness and stubbornness, lust and coveting, looking longingly or regretfully back at the past, disappointments, disrespect, judgmental thoughts.
The best part is that in letting go of behaviors, thoughts, and outgrown emotions that no longer serve us is that a space is created for something new and different. Letting go gives us room to grow and change. It is movement, no longer frozen in the past. Growth and change may involve passage into darkness, a kind of psychic death. Letting go can also be viewed as an opportunity disguised as loss.
Letting go requires that you must learn some new skills: trust in yourself and in a higher power. Begin to change the thoughts that create fear. Learn to wait patiently. Focus on the good things in life. Get in touch with the love in your heart. Have intentions that are loving and good for you and for those you love. Practice pure, clear thoughts. Stay focused in the present moment. Have no expectations that you cling to. Handle all your emotions maturely and gently. Refuse to beat yourself up mentally. Refuse to obsess about what can’t be changed. Set limits and boundaries in your relationships and observe them. Accept what is. Learn to love yourself freely without judgment. Suspend criticism.
Remember that LETTING GO is NOT giving up, giving in, or accepting defeat. It is not quitting, resigning, relinquishing, nor abandoning. It not throwing in the towel!
Learning to let go is a process of healing, self-change, and restoration to health.
Author's Bio
Nancy Reeves, Ed.S., is a Licensed Professional Counselor. She is the past president of the Licensed Professional Counselors Association of Georgia. She is also a certified yoga instructor and has studied with Deepak Chopra.
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