Have you ever had a friend describe a really "hot' blind date for you, and you get all excited and eager to meet this wonder person only to come face to face with the person and zero, nothing, no sparks. The person is all that, but you are just not digging him or her.
Or have you ever found yourself so powerfully attracted to someone with whom you have nothing in common, and physically he or she is not even your "type" but he or she makes your libido sit up and howl?
Or may be you've been in a passionless and sexually dead relationship with your partner and suddenly you find yourself so attracted to your partner that you can't keep your hands off him or her?
Two words - sexual chemistry.
Sometimes you instantly feel strong sexual chemistry with someone when you first see him or her and other times sexual chemistry can sneak up on you very slowly. You may like the person, enjoy their company, and you have a lot in common but that spark is missing - that special feeling isn't there (he or she is just a friend). Then one day you come to the realization that you are very sexually attracted to him or her.
Other times, you feel the chemistry with someone and then when you get to know the person, the sexual chemistry and attraction goes away.
You can't fake sexual chemistry...
With the tons of books on reading sexual attraction postures, gestures and facial cues, and even with all that "we know" about men-women dynamics, many men and women still can't figure out if there is sexual chemistry between two people -- or not.
We misread and misinterpret sexual signals because there are other energies emitting on the same frequency that tend to interfere with our ability to correctly read someone else's sexual attraction body language. It's like when you are trying to tune your radio to 98.1 FM, but your antenna keeps picking up another channel on a higher frequency range. There are sexual attraction signals that your conscious mind could never tell you, because these signals are operating at a higher frequency range (the sub-conscious range).
So what do you do? The answer: Always follow your sexual instincts...
The ability to utilize your intuition is a crucial factor in sexual attraction, since sexual attraction happens at the sub-conscious level. Because your body senses threat or danger before your mind does, your intuitive mind or gut feeling can pick up those aspects of sexual attraction which vibrate at a higher frequency range -- and steer you to the right move at the right time.
Intuition not only helps you steer away from potential danger, it also helps you feel confident and wise, knowing that the tools you need to conquer the unknown and unknowable are always at hand. Discounting your own powerful inner feelings and relying on some "expert's moves" destroys your own ability to think for yourself, and make correct judgments of people and situations.
You need this vital element if you are to be successful with the opposite sex. So trust your intuition/sexual instincts.
Except that there is an alarming exception. If your sexual antenna is weak or faulty or damaged, you will not be able to pick up these signals operating at a higher frequency range and as a result you will not be able to tune into the other person's sexual wavelength.
Your sexual antenna is weak -- when this is the case, you have a problem tuning into a man or woman's sexual wavelength because your own sexual signals are not strong enough to set off sexual chemistry.
How can you tell that your sexual signals are not strong enough?
Every time you meet someone new conversation is good, you have much in common, you are so sexually attracted to him or her and things seem to be going generally well but the other person doesn't find you attractive in a sexual way.
If you can't connect on a sexual level, then there is no sexual chemistry, no sexual attraction.
Your sexual antenna is faulty -- when this is the case, you have a problem tuning into a man or woman's sexual wavelength because even though you are sending strong sexual signals alright, you are sending the wrong ones at the wrong time.
How can you tell that you're sending the wrong sexual signals at the wrong time?
Every time you meet someone new conversation is good, you have much in common, but when you start getting all "sexual" the opposite sex look at you like "Ugh! Weirdo" if you are a guy. If you are a woman, guys think you are "easy and cheap" because your sexual energy is like all over the place.
Your sexual antenna is damaged -- this just means that you are not tuning into the opposite sex's sexual wavelength because you are not sending any sexual signals at all.
How can you tell that you're not sending any sexual signals at all?
You are sexually invisible to the opposite sex.
So to pick up these signals operating at a higher frequency range and get sexual chemistry right, you must first make sure you sexual antenna is finely tuned, is sending out the right vibrations -- and IS TURNED ON.
With practice, you'll naturally be able to tune into someone else's sexual frequencies and set off powerful sexual chemistry. It just becomes part of you, something you do without even trying.
You might also want to read my article "Why Do We Like Some People and Dislike Others?" for a little more insight into those other energies emitting on the same frequency and tend to interfere sexual attraction.
About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Dating Confidence/Relationships Coach who has devoted her life to the blending of indispensable age-old wisdom with modern realities into a prescription for passion, vitality, balance and effortlessness. Her thought-provoking message of conscious intentionality offers singles new, realistic and stimulating insights to rediscovering the mysteries and eternal beauty of men - women sexual relationships.
Visit Christine's main website: Toronto's Number1 Date Doctor.