I keep reading that if a man is interested he will ask you out (which I think is true to a point). When a guy asks you out that definitely shows interest, but it is hard for me to believe that every single guy has the guts to ask out all the girls he has been interested in.
My question is: Is it okay for a woman to ask a guy out for a drink or a cup of coffee? And how can you do this without making yourself look like a desperate bitch?
Yes, it's entirely OK for a woman to ask a man out. You’d be surprised at how many men just don’t know how to start things up with a girl! That’s not an excuse by the way – men need to learn this skill. It’s just that many of them don’t have a clue.
Many women are still uncomfortable about asking men out; many out of fear of rejection, (welcome to a man's world!), many out of fear of looking desperate and many because they are attracted only to men that are willing to take the risk of getting rejected.
The problem with this is that you miss so many great opportunities to meet really great men! Obviously, not all of them will be a match for you, but on the other hand, you'll never know about any of those that you don't spend some time with.
This is the new millennium and thinking that men still don't want to be asked out by a woman is old-millennium thinking. Let me assure you - almost every man I've ever talked to actually LIKES it.
First, very few men will think you're desperate just because you ask them out. In fact, they'll likely think that you're NOT desperate because you have options of going and getting what YOU want (just like we do!) However, if that's still too much risk for you how about this:
Write your name and phone number of a piece of paper. Then, walk up to a guy and say, "Here." Hand him the paper and then say, "You know, I'd really enjoy having coffee with you one day. Call me." Then, walk away.
You see, you didn't actually make the approach; you only opened the door and are now allowing him to walk through it if he's interested.
One more thing: don't be surprised if it takes him 2, 3 or even more weeks to call you! Many women assume that if a guy doesn't just jump on this within a few days that he's not interested. Instead, everyone is busy and we're not always ready to just jump when you are.
Have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can write to me by going to: http://beingaman.com/ask_question.asp for answers. For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman's Worldtm" (volumes I and II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman.
Copyright (c) 2007, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
Dr. Neder is known around the world as a tough, but fair relationship expert, dealing with all sorts of dating, sex and relationship issues from a man's perspective. Having written 3 books ("Being a Man in a Woman's World™" series) and is working on others, hundreds of articles, been on hundreds of radio and TV shows, he is funny, direct and intuitive.
Do you have a burning question that needs an answer? Are you a man that wants to better experiences with women, or a woman that wants to better understand men? To learn more, go to http://beingaman.com .