A good goal to start off with is to quit smoking. This is a habit that pollutes people's lives for years. Often they will 'try' to stop smoking, only to end up disillusioned and defeated. That's where using the correct attitude will work wonders. Trying will not work and is not the correct attitude that will result in success.
SURRENDER IS THE ATTITUDE THAT WILL WIN. Yes, surrender to win. What is that you may ask?
Surrender to win is the most successful strategy ever used to break a habit or dependency. Simply put, it means, to honestly recognise what smoking does FOR you as well as TO you. Nicotine is a sedative and it is normally used by people to medicate feelings of anxiety. The problem with using nicotine to medicate feelings of anxiety is that the feelings are only temporarily medicated, and so when the feelings re-emerge, more nicotine is needed.
The process of surrendering to win is to face the feelings of anxiety and not to use any substance to medicate them. Feelings of anxiety will not kill you. They may be unpleasant but they are not fatal. Obviously when you first stop using the medicator the anxious feelings will emerge strongly and the body will crave a nicotine fix. Surrendering means you recognise that providing the nicotine fix, will only prolong the problem and not cure it.
Additionally, giving in to the nicotine fix, produces serious risk of side-effects, eg cancer etc. The feelings of anxiety and craving for the fix will subside. Many people fail in giving up because they don't fully accept that it is necessary to go through the withdrawal process in order to get free.
'The only way out is through'. Surrender to this inevitability and freedom is at hand. Rather than 'try' to stop, accept that it is necessary to go through withdrawal or craving. The craving is the measurement of your dependence on the drug of nicotine. Refuse to live your life in bondage to this drug. Like all drugs it has lethal side-effects. Going through the withdrawal process is well rewarded with freedom from the need to depend on the drug of nicotine. Plenty of help is available.
Surrendering to win is an alternative to using willpower. As many people have discovered willpower is of no use whatsoever, in fact it can be a total liability. Because smoking is an emotional comforter, you need to find another way to gain comfort that is less harmful than smoking. The symptoms of withdrawal at first can be intense but the experience of millions of people, is that these feelings will subside and leave. Any emotional dependency that is starved of reinforcement will die. So the craving for the nicotine ‘fix’ will leave, providing it is not reinforced with another cigarette. It may take a little time but rest assured it will go away.
Gerry Savage has written extensively on the internet of his experiences on mentoring people for 25 years in practising the principles,required for personal growth. These experiences are both personal and from observations and personal involvement in helping others solve living problems.