February's message - in fact, the message for all of 2009 - is about finding your yumminess. Take the time to do the things that make you happy! What could you to do treat yourself better, to romance yourself, to woo yourself? (Isn't that a great word? Woo!) You deserve to be happy, to meet your full Yummy Potential.
Dare to be delicious!
If art makes you happy, go to a museum. If one isn't close by, purchase some art books and spend half an hour looking at them. If funds are tight, go to the public library. Don't make excuses - just do it! Take the time to do the self-indulgent silly little things that you enjoy.
If you're a family person, take your kids with you. Find someone to babysit while you take an indulgently long hot bath, right in the comfort of your home. Call a friend and ask for their help - once you open yourself to creative possibility, delights just fall into your hands. Stop just plodding along doing all the things you have to do; and for goodness' sake, let it be something you take pleasure in, rather than adding it to the list of items on your To Do list. Make indulgences the rewards for doing the things you had to do.
Don't forget to spend some yummy time by yourself. Spend some time savoring - music, food, the world around you. Don't just cram it all in; taste each morsel. Every little piece. Be dorky, be sentimental, be romantic. Light some candles for the dinner table, even if all you're having is reheated leftovers. Put on a sappy romantic comedy, listen to ABBA if that makes you happy, and wear your red bra just for you. Put on extra sparkly eye shadow because it's Wednesday and why not?
Play with yourself - figuratively or literally!
If you have a partner, spend some yummy time with him or her. While date night should be a requirement in all relationships, it is a reward, not a chore. Spend some time touching each other and talking and cuddling together with a bowl of popcorn while you watch movies and do your own version of MST3K. Be silly, be playful, be indulgent. One of the best things that we can do with each other is spend time together and laugh.
I know, I'm getting into lecture mode again, but this stuff is vitally important. It's a new year, a new government, and the world is ready for change. Spring is just around the corner, and the end of old jobs or relationships or friendships means that there are new opportunities ahead.
Life is for play. It's a Merry-Go-Round, with bright colors and happy music and laughter. You can sit on your painted horse and ignore all the fun around you while your mind keeps swirling around your grocery list and whether or not you need to do laundry this weekend and if you're getting enough vitamin C. Or you can hang on, lean back, and let the calliope music fill you up. I know which one I recommend.
In honor of Valentine's Day and Friday the 13th, here are a baker's dozen of ideas for savoring some of the sweetness life has to offer:
1. To get you into a relaxed, open state of mind, at peace and ready to take pleasure in the world around you, for a limited time I am offering my guided meditation mp3s for f*r*e*e until March 1st! Just go to my website, click on the "Add to Cart" link, and when you get to the purchase screen, enter the promo code "VALENTINE" to receive the mp3 download at no charge.
You are more than welcome to forward this gift to friends and loved ones!
2. As another gift, try out the Catch the Hussy Express offer (see below), and you can add on another HOUR for half the usual cost. We will brainstorm strategies and creative solutions to overcome your issues regarding body image, communication skills, connecting with your lover, and overall rejuvenation of your sexual enthusiasm.
3. Go to a workshop! In fact, if you're in Northern California, check out Good Vibrations and Pure Pleasure. They have tons of workshops on a variety of subjects that will titillate you and tickle your fancy.
(And mark your calendars, because I'm doing a "How to Get the Sex Life You Always Wanted" workshop at Good Vibrations on May 18th!)
If you live in somewhere else but are interested in workshops, email me and I'll hook you up to similar opportunities in your neighborhood.
4. Speaking of classes, my mentor Kyle King is doing an amazing new program here in Santa Cruz at Pure Pleasure on February 19th, titled "How to be an Amazon in the Bedroom - a class for women." How yummy does that sound? Even if you can't attend, be sure to check out her blog for suggestions on being an Amazon Woman and channel your inner Xena: Warrior Princess.
5. Like erotica? There are a ton of promotions and offers this month for discounts and freebies from many of the best-quality erotic e-books. My personal favorite for m/m romance and erotica is Dreamspinner Press, which is currently offering a holiday weekend special, from Friday, Feb. 13 through Sunday, Feb. 15. Get a heart-warming 20% discount for your total purchase by entering the discount code "BEMINE"at checkout.
6. Need a laugh? Thanks to the internet (especially YouTube) there's always something out there to give you a giggle or a warm fuzzy feeling. Here are a few of my favorites:
* Carmina Burana - The video plays alternate "lyrics," to go with the classical music (such as "bring me more tuna") as well as graphics.
* Men Kissing - Some of the best movie-kisses ever!
* Free Hugs Campaign - A guy decides to start offering free hugs, and the world responds.
* Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen - The popular speech/commencement address meshed beautifully with "Everybody's Free" and gorgeous images.
7. Check out Just My Size Yoga with Megan Garcia. This is hands-down the best yoga dvd I've ever seen. Megan's personality simply sparkles. Be sure to watch the interview included on the dvd and check out her website. If you've ever considered yoga, give this one a try. Yoga increases your flexibility, confidence, and peace of mind.
This dvd is aimed at voluptuous, goddess-size women in particular, because many of us have problems with "regular" yoga practices that don't take into account the size and shape of our delicious bodies. Megan understands firsthand how to adjust and modify the poses so you feel invigorated rather than frustrated. She also has a section on how to modify the workout in various ways for tight pectoral muscles and hamstrings, tender wrists and knees, and those beautiful breasts and bellies that sometimes get in the way.
(For more recommendations see my web page.)
8. Take a bubble bath and use way too much bubble solution. Make mountains of foam before you step in. Seriously, I double-dog dare you to take a hot bubble bath and not feel better.
9. Chocolate - can you ever go wrong with chocolate? Buy yourself some of the good stuff. Savor it slowly and deliberately, letting the flavor fill your mouth and nose as you close your eyes and feel the chocolate melt.
10. Have a sarcastic sense of humor? Send SomeEcards to all your friends for Valentine's day, birthdays, and just because.
11. Go outside for ten minutes and find five things that are beautiful: colors, textures, plants, people, shadow, light.
12. Do something for someone else. Something you enjoy; don't be a martyr. Just the simple act of making someone else's day easier or brighter will bring you energy and joy. Send a card to a friend, invite someone over to join you for dinner, brush your dog until he groans in delight. Make someone smile.
13. Have a seductive evening of making love, whether it's with yourself or a lover (or lovers). Set the stage, caress all of that delightful skin slowly and purposefully, savor each sensation to the fullest possibility. Delay orgasm for long enough so that it blows your head open when you do finally climax. Try something new. Indulge.
Try all thirteen! Enjoy.
P.S. Want to give me a Valentine's gift? Go to Amazon.com and leave a one or two sentence review of Wanton Hussy's Guide to Getting the Sex Life You Always Wanted!
(Please see my website for hyperlinks)
Julianne Bentley, the original Wanton Hussy, works with individuals (and couples) who want to bring the passion and joy back into their bedrooms.
Drawing on over fifteen years of experience discussing the ins and outs of sexuality, in all its forms, Julianne brings compassion and energy to the process of supporting you in making the changes you need in order to have the sex life you want and deserve.