Raising kids is hard; raising kids alone is near- impossible. It’s absolutely not easy to raise kids when you’re a single parent. However, although it seems awful, (a lot of times it is!) it offers quite a number of astonishing benefits that can make everyday life easier for everyone. According to single parenting statistics, majority of the single parents today are mothers who are currently divorced or separated. Friends and acquaintances often wonder how single moms manage to take care of their kids, and more often than not elicit pity and awe for a status that a lot of people think of as just shy of sainthood.
There’s no doubt that single moms face significant problems, with financial hardship usually at the top of the list. And of course, there are the unending needs of the children, along with their questions about the absent parent that can be very hard to answer. Being married is definitely better when one has kids—but not all the time. You’re better off being a single mom if your only other option is to stay in a bad marriage. Here are some very good reasons why single mommyhood is worth celebrating: It is much, much easier to do things alone than to constantly fight about who does what.
In a family where two parents are present, it is automatically presumed that the workload necessary to raise the kids is divided in half. What really goes on is this: the arguing alone over who does what is far more exhausting than the task itself. A lot of the couple’s time and effort are spent in figuring out a system of dividing the chores, reminding your spouse to do his share of the bargain and resenting him if he fails to do so, then trying out a new system that most likely won’t work either. It’s a draining cycle that a lot of women have to endure.
When you’re the only parent in the house, your word is the law. There’s no one to challenge your authority, especially when establishing house rules. Sure, it’s no joke to make all the choices yourself, but decision making will always be a part of life, whether you’re married or not. However, being a single parent makes one realize the enormity of one’s responsibility, thus it is taken more seriously because there isn’t anyone else one can depend on. Some divorced couples wage an unending battle about custody of the kids. But when it’s already settled, it can actually be a blessing to the custodial parent (oftentimes the mom).
Sharing custody of the kids can give a single parent a much-needed time-out, be it a whole afternoon or a whole weekend. It’s not about wanting to get rid of the kids— it’s only about having some alone time, knowing that the kids are in good hands. If a happily married woman can benefit from a time-out, then a single mom definitely could, too. Even if divorce is no longer as shocking as it was 20 years ago, there are still some know-it-alls who can foresee only a very bleak future for children of divorced families. On the contrary, the kids are often better off than if they were forced to stay in a “complete” family, listening to Mom and Dad hurl angry words and furniture to each other.
Divorce is devastating, everyone knows that—but the experience also teaches kids very important lessons in life. Besides, there are a lot of juvenile delinquents who come from upright families, so having only one parent is never a reason for the kids to be futureless. As a single parent, you have all the freedom to give in to your little quirks which you couldn’t do while living with someone else. You can arrange your clothes in precision and have all the closet space -- all to yourself.
The author of this article Ruth Purple is a successful Relationship Coach who has been helping and coaching individuals and couples for many years. Ruth recently published a new home study course on how to get your cheating spouse back. More info about this “Winning Your Man Back From Infidelity” program is available at YouCanGetHimBack.com.