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The Lack Of Expression Creates Frustration
By
Julius P. Bantigue |
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I've recently read an article on this website about deviant behaviors like voyeurism, where the offender get sexual gratification by watching the genitals of unsuspecting victims. The article also pointed out the difference between voyeurism and pornography, In the latter, the actor or actresses are in control of the situation. Therefore, the sexual gratification for the voyeur is unsatisfying. In the case of voyeurism, the unsuspecting victim is not in control; thus, increases the excitement for the voyeur, especially when the danger of being
caught is added. The voyeur feels like he or she is taking advantage of or is in control of the situation, therefore rendering the victim(s) helpless. The author recommended that the perpetrators of this sexual misbehavior seek couseling in order to be treated for the condition. I agree, to some degree, because therapy is the only other alternative for these mental and emotional condition, as well as other sexual offenses, whose source has gone unnoticed or untreated since its inception.
Why don't we change the way we look at things and let's try to look at one other possibilities, that are not often discussed about the other causes of voyeuristic and other sexual misbehaviors. Let's try to look in-depth at the source of these mental and emotional turmoils that manifest itself into unwanted behaviors. Is it the individual who commits these
crimes really the culprits, or it is society that's mainly responsible to why these individuals commit these offenses? This brings to mind what I've been telling everyone all along, that 'the lack of expression (or control) will almost always create frustrations or (deviant behaviors)'. These sexual offenders are prime examples of what I'm talking about. As our
society develops and becomes more complicated, there'll be an increased number of people who'll not be able to keep with up with the complexities of life, which will results in mental
and emotional deviancy that'll negatively affect the individual and his or her relationships with others.
In a growing religious, political, and economic correctness of Western societies, the need to be competitive---and righteous---will eventually takes its toll on the very same targets these
ideals were designed for---man (or woman). From the "Fire and Brimstone" sermons we hear from the pulpit of our churches, all the way down to our sexual orientation, we have become dogmatic and absolute in the way we should live our lives, which leaves little room for errors and transgressions. We have become mindless and unfeeling machines of our own creation, working faster than ever before just to meet our heirachy of needs. Eventually, like an overworked machine, the parts will wear and breakdown. Whether it's the mental, emotional, physical, or the combination of all three parts that break, the whole body---and its relation to its sorroundings---suffers.
One thing we need to take in account is that we are naturally carnal. Since the prehistoric days to the present, our natural sexual and violent urges have always been a dominant part of our whole being. The only factor that separated and elevated us from other species of animals is our ability to think and reason, that allowed us to move forward through the evolution process to what we have become today---a civilized man. To keep from destroying each other and from breeding genetically mutated offsprings, we've learned to re-channel these strong urges into creating the foundation of a family, tribe, religion, and eventually civilization. But the destructive forces of sex and violence are as much inside all of us today
as it were during the days of our neanderthal ancestors. We've just learned to re-direct these destructive forces into something more productive and meaningful in order to keep our civilization from rigressing. We've also learned to play by the rules of society in order to continue to be a part of it, realizing that doing the opposite will result in ostracization, incarceration and, in some cases, annihilation.
Unfortunately, these sexual offenders have never been taught how to display the appropriate behaviors to win acceptance from society. Part of their fault we normally attribute to their violent and abusive backgrounds or to their genetic makeups. The other part, which I believe fits the rest of the puzzle, has to do with the rejection these sexual offenders received from society all of their lives. Because of the lightning speed in which we live our lives, coupled with our own desire to fulfill our own needs, we've learned to focus all of our
attention and resources on things that'll make our lives better. We have little patience or allow anyone---unless they meet or satisfy our discrimating taste to help reach our goals---to get in our way. And in a society that continues to raise the bar on how its citizens should live, the stress of day-to-day living the righteous and ideal life becomes more competitive and hard.
For those individuals, who failed to fiercely compete in the arena of life, will almost always fall by the wayside and become an uncompetitive and undesireable part of society. Perhaps it's their appearance, their lack of nurturing in order to keep up with the endless societal demands for improvement, or their sexual orientation, these disadvantages will prevent
these individuals from moving up the Maslow's Hierachy Of Needs pyramid of fulfilling their lower level of needs for sex and love that only society can give them. They've become outcasts
within their own society and placed outside of its moral, ethical, and political boundaries of acceptance. Their inabilities to express and feel welcome, will eventually breed
contempt that could manifest itself into unwanted behaviors---perhaps from loneliness or from the wrath of being rejected.
Having lived in the Philippines for almost two years, I've noticed that no one seems to criticized, ostracized, or punish mild deviant sexual misbehaviors like promiscuity, an extramarital affair, and homesexuality openly, or with an expulsion from the church and a divorce. No one actually condones these sexual misbehaviors, but the Filipino people seem more understanding, forgiving, and accepting of the offenders and their acts. A homosexual could walk down the streets in a feminine wardrove, and he doesn't have to
worry about getting scorned upon or beat up; a priest could have a sexual relationship with a woman and have a child with her (as long the church doesn't find and the congregation keep its mouth closed) and he could continue to be a priest; and a promiscous man could cheat on his wife and be forgiven, not because the woman doesn't have a choice since there are no divorce laws in the Philippines (she could still choose to live separately from her husband). She stays with her cheating husband due to a combination of economy and pride. It's much
more practical to have a husband and father around to provide for the family, than to have a broken family, in which the children bears the stigma of their parents' separation.
No one has to pretend to be do-gooders on the outside but carnal on the inside in the Philippines. Vulgarity is the name of the game---not in a distasteful way---but in a subtle manner that allows the venting of the Filipino people's feelings in order to feel good about themselves and others. From government, businesses, and religion, down to the very fabrics of marriage and family, no institution is sacred (or exempt) from the public eyes and gossips. Yet, everyone seems to take life in stride with patience and understanding about everything that goes on, because everyone knows---and accepts--that no one is perfect. Since there are no hangups, Filipinos certainly have very little mental, emotional, and physical problems due to the stressors of life. Perhaps it's the universally accepted nature of a Third World Country or maybe it's just cultural to think and feel this way; but, the unique ways the Filipino people look at life, creates lots of expression and very little
frustration. Till next time....
Author's Bio
A former schoolteacher with a career and a "normal life" in the United States. He'd decided to give it all up and moved to a Third World Country to search for his happiness and tranquility. He found both in the Philippines. You can visit Julius P. Bantigue on his website @ www.philippinevoyager.com.
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