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The Nature Of Freedom – Part 3
By
Robert Elias Najemy |
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Note: As this subject needs a deeper explanation the article is broken down into three parts.
1. The first deals with the nature of natural freedom
2. The second with misconceptions about freedom
3. The third about how to experience freedom.
What are those possible “understandings” that might help us.
1. We live in a family / society in which our every act and behavior has an effect on the whole. We can choose to abide by laws and rules that we perceive and agree are for the greater good, even when they might not coincide with our temporary needs or desires at a particular moment. This is a form of emotional, mental and spiritual maturity.
2. We multiply what we would like to do by one million and ask if today one million people did that, what would be the result. (such as throw trash from the car, double park, step in front of others in line, not pay our taxes, build illegally.) Freedom requires maturity and social consciousness.)
3. We lovingly avoid doing anything to anyone we would not like them to do to us.
4. We put myself in the other’s position and imagine how he or she feels – or what he or she needs at this moment.
5. We remember that we are souls in the process of evolution at that there are times that our personality wants or fears something that as souls we perceive differently. This brings up again the question, “freedom for the soul or the personality.”
As personalities we desire fulfillment of the temporary needs of the body and mind – usually so that we can feel safe, worthy, pleasure, powerful or in control. As souls we desire freedom from those needs and a sense of inner self-worth, security and power that allows us real freedom to be and do what really allows our growth and evolution.
Inner conflicts and Freedom
Thus the problem of inner conflicts where one part of ourselves wants to do something and another does not. For example one part want to diet, stop smoking, leave a job, meditate daily, wake up earlier, create a relationship, forgive someone, start a new profession, move to a new location, or any thing else, while another part of ourselves fears or feels suppressed by these possible actions. In such a case we are simultaneously the suppressed and suppressor.
Such conflicts of needs also attract behaviors, comments and pressures from others that simply reflect the forces conflicting within us. In such cases we feel that others are pressuring us or conflicting with us, when in fact they are just external manifestation of our own inner conflicts.
It is important to understand that the apparent external pressures will disappear when we resolve our inner conflict. How to do this is explained in detail in my book Saram. A start would be to observe understand, accept and love both sides of ourselves and allow them to communicate in an attempt to find a common solution.
Release of childhood experiences and assumptions will help in this process, as will EFT, Sedona, Listening to our Heart and other techniques.
We are free souls and we create our lives with our choices. When we make choices based on programming, addiction, guilt and fear, then we willfully barter our freedom for feelings of security and self-worth. When we internalize those needs and feel inner security and inner self-worth, then we will make choices based on love and real freedom.
“No” and “Yes” with Love
As shown in the example above, In order to be able to say yes, some of us need first to be able to say “no”. This means that we need to be able to feel secure and worthy when we have examined what is being asked and we feel that “no” is the appropriate answer for reasons that we have considered. To do so means getting free from beliefs that we will loose the others’ love and acceptance if we do not do what they ask. This is a very common belief logically developed from our childhood years.
But let us ask ourselves, “do we want others to do what we request because they fear losing our love? Do we want them to suppress themselves and be unhappy doing what we want and not what they want? Will we loose our love for them if they do not do what we want? If the answer here is yes, then we logically fear losing their love. If we can continue loving others even when they cannot or do not want to do what we want, then we too deserve to continue being loved by them, when we cannot respond to their needs from time to time.
Think about it. Do we want their love and acceptance if we can have it only by suppressing ourselves and doing only what they want? Do we want such love? Is that love?
Actually in most cases, we will continued to be loved by others – perhaps after a period of tension because they feel hurt that we are not complying with their needs. Love most often prevails. It is only our fear of rejection and perhaps our lack of love and acceptance for ourselves that suppress us in such a case.
Thus we can learn to feel free to say “no” with love, rather than with anger – because we are feeling defensive and expecting rejection or an attack from the other. The more peacefully and lovingly we can say “no” the less likely the other is to react negatively. In such cases it is also very important to express to the other that we love them and want them to be happy and would like to give them what they need, but cannot or choose not to at this moment for the following reasons…
Feeling comfortable saying “no” with love is based however on our ability to being able to hear “no” with love. If we cannot, then it will be difficult to learn this lesson.
Then we are much more free to say “yes” with love because, as we have seen, being able to say “no” with love opens us up to the possibility of saying “yes” with love.
What then is Freedom?
Freedom is the absence of fear.
Freedom is the absence of addiction.
Freedom is the absence of hope and need.
Freedom is based on inner security, self-worth and fulfillment.
Freedom is born from love and allows love.
Freedom then is the ability to make choices based on what really serves our needs as souls in the process of evolution. This is possible when we realize that we are always actually free and that every action, sacrifice and self-suppression has been a free choice.
Author's Bio
Robert Elias Najemy is the author of over 20 books, 600 articles and 400 lectures on Human Harmony recorded on CD and DVD. Download for free 100's of articles and find wonderful ebooks, guidance, mp3 audio lectures and teleclasses at
www.HolisticHarmony.com.
His books The Psychology of Happiness, Remove Pain with Energy Psychology and six others are available at
www.amazon.com
As a life coach with 35 years of experience, has trained over 300 Life coaches and now does so over the Internet.
Info at:
www.HolisticHarmony.com/introholisticcoach.asp
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