The Need To Feel Worthyby Kimberly Fulcher

I believe the need to feel worthy is the most predominantly debilitating requirement in today’s society. It is also the desire that is least often addressed or satisfied.

Let me start by saying: You are perfect just as you are. I’d like to say that one more time. You are perfect, just as you are. Are you able to accept that statement, or do you resist it? Does it bring tears to your eyes? That’s not uncommon. I’ve met very few women who had full faith in their own worthiness. Those who have possessed that self-assurance had done so only after much soul searching and self-care.

Every situation you’ve lived through has made you the person you are today, and there is purpose to your experience. While it’s true there is room for improvement in all of our lives, the most damaging thoughts you can buy into are those that tell you that you’re broken and must fix yourself. That’s just not true. You are not broken and, while we can all benefit from self-improvement and self-care, there is nothing about you that needs to be fixed.

It’s probable you encountered conditional acceptance as a child. I’ve never encountered anyone who didn’t. You could have had these experiences at home, at school, or within your community. As you matured, you learned that you would be accepted if you followed the rules of those you sought acceptance from. At home, you may have been required to follow your parents’ rules. At school, your teacher had a list of expectations for your behavior, and your classmates likely had rules of their own.

When you were accepted by the people in each of these environments, you learned that you were okay. Each time you experienced rejection or were punished, you learned that a part of you was not acceptable. This process taught you that you were only conditionally worthy.

Were you ever told that you were a bad girl? Each time you heard those words, your feeling of worthiness was diminished. Were you ever told that you weren’t special enough to be part of a group, such as the popular crowd at school? Again, each rejection reduced your sense of worthiness.

If you received enough of these messages throughout your life, which is quite common, your belief in your deservingness likely needs to be improved upon.

I have seen so many individuals struggle with deeply held questions related to their personal value. These individuals, driven to prove their worth, have pursued success at any cost—amassing substantial material wealth, achieving high social stature, and excelling in specialized skills, only to find that nothing they accomplish fills the empty hole in their spirit. Ultimately, these individuals sought an external source to tell them that they were okay. Yet, no matter how much external validation they received, they weren’t able to accept acknowledgement because they didn’t personally believe in their own value.

I want more than that for you! You can take control of your feelings of worth and increase your sense of personal value.


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