The yearnings of a woman’s heart and the way her life is are often miles apart. The confident and secure woman knows what she wants and goes after it with unflappable action, undeterred by obstacles that come up along the way.

1. A confident & secure woman REPOSITIONS HERSELF

A confident woman never forgets the one thing that never changes –THINGS CONSTANTLY CHANGE.

With the winds of change ever blowing, a secure woman realizes that she may not currently possess all the tools that will take her to her goal, but she’s always ready to learn what she needs to know in order to get there. This may mean going back to school, changing job or vocations or even moving to a different location, but she is ready, willing and able to adapt to changing circumstances.

2. A confident & secure woman KNOWS HOW TO GIVE AND TAKE

A confident woman understands that the gift is in the giving. She knows the laws that tell her what she gives will return to her several times over. She will give her time, energy and even her heart to those who need her. However, she also knows that she is not a super human and she does not over-extend herself. She regularly takes time for herself! She also recognizes that she has limits and, at times, finds herself in a position of needing assistance and is not afraid to ask for what she needs.

3. A confident & secure woman LIVES IN THE PRESENT

Dwelling on the past or worrying about the future is the bread of idleness that a confident woman refuses to eat. When recalling the past, she does not allow herself to dwell there but, rather, refocuses on the here and now. She understands that her past experiences, whether joyful or painful, are a part of her and have made her the confident person that she is today. She learns from the past and uses that information for current decision making. She has hopes for the future and engages in the occasional daydream while keeping herself solidly in the present tense of her life.

4. A confident & secure woman KEEPS HERE EYE ON THE PRIZE

Not everything we do comes up roses. To expect perfection is cavalier, but to know that mistakes are a part of the journey is wisdom. This knowledge allows the confident woman to refuse to pity herself when something doesn’t turn out as she’d hoped or expected it would.

5. A confident & secure woman KNOWS HOW TO SAY NO

Women have too little time and too much responsibility. The demands of jobs, child care, household duties, etc. are often draining. Having time to herself seems to be a far-fetched dream for many women.

The confident woman knows her limits and her need for self care. She understands that in order to be able to accomplish all that she wants/needs to do, she MUST have adequate energy reserves from which to draw. While sympathetic and even flattered when her phone rings off the hook with others making requests of her, she is able to pick and choose those people or causes to which/whom she will devote her time and energy. She knows when she needs to politely decline so that she will have time to recharge herself or to ward off becoming overwhelmed. She also does not feel a need to offer apologies or excuses for needing to do so.

6. A confident & secure woman TRUSTS HER INNER VOICE

While she may occasionally feel uncertain or seek the counsel of others, the confident woman knows deep down that her own heart will give her the direction she needs. While this intuition may be said to be a characteristic of all women, it is one that becomes refined only with age, wisdom and experience. The secure woman will carefully consider all the information at her disposal, seek advice from those she respects and then turn to that little voice inside of herself and become her own best counsel.

7. A confident & secure woman DOESN’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF

If we allow ourselves to think too much about something or consider every little thing that could possibly come up or go awry, we can soon make mountains out of molehills. The secure woman is able to separate the chaff from the grain and focus only on those things of primary concern to her in any situation. She does not micro manage herself or her affairs. Rather, she focuses on the broader picture along with the key ingredients that are needed to solve her problem or reach her goal. She possesses inner strength and the wisdom to be able to create, change and adapt as necessary.

Author's Bio: 

Scott Smallwood is the creator and founder of Honest To God Coaching of bad relationships, healthy relationships a healing and transformative coaching program exclusively for women. As a former pastor, professional chaplain and counselor, Scott's experience and insight have helped hundreds of clients confront and release their limiting beliefs, empowering them to experience the desires of their heart.