The Seven Secrets OSuccessful Relationships

Relationships between men and women face an unprecedented crisis that has serious consequences for our species, our culture, and for the individuals suffering through it. While the divorce rate for first marriages in the United States is 50%, and a whopping 67% for second marriages. As astonishing as these numbers are, they do not begin to address the very real misery and suffering associated with this epidemic.

As we look at relationships today, we have to ask ourselves what has gone wrong? Despite all the couples now in therapy, happiness with love relationships is at an all time low as men and women struggle to come to terms with the new roles required in our modern society.

Yet many couples not only stay together, they enjoy a level of intimacy that allows them to thrive in every aspect of their lives. If a satisfying, nurturing and passionate relationship is part of your definition of a successful life, then you should understand that such relationships do not simply happen; they are intentionally created and maintained.

With that in mind, take a hard look in the mirror as we consider the secrets of highly successful relationships. Master these secrets and everything in your life will begin to flow much more easily. These are not just the keys to finding and staying with the one you love. Whether you are in contact with your husband, wife, children, parent, boss, co-worker or friend, these tools can be used to enhance the relationship.

1. Communication. One of the surest predictors of divorce is the habitual avoidance of conflict. If you cannot talk openly with your partner you do not have a solid relationship. Of course, good communication requires that both partners be willing to listen. It also requires that you choose the right time for the discussion.

2. Respect. Never raise your voice, interrupt, or degrade your partner by calling them names. The trick is to manage conflicts in such a way that your partner cannot doubt for a second that you truly love them. Just unloading on your partner is NOT communication.

3. Process intense emotions elsewhere. Too much drama is severely damaging to the long-term health of any relationship. Get a psychologist or a pastor and vent your worst pain and anger with a professional who is getting paid to listen.

4. Honesty. Even a small lie will be difficult to sustain. When the truth eventually comes out, the trust between you will be damaged. Once the trust is gone your relationship is dead in the water.

5. Dependabilty. This is one of the things we all seek in relationships - someone who will be there for us during when it counts.

6. Growth. Never stop learning. Explore new things and allow your partner the freedom to explore their areas of interest. No one wants to be in a stagnant, stifling relationship. Get out and have an adventure together every week.

7. Devotion. Praise and affirm your partner every chance you get, but only when it is sincere. Everyone wants to be appreciated and encouraged. Part of being a devoted partner is the contribution you make, both in time and resources.

Most of us spend far too much time living in the past. There we tend to dwell in feelings of anger, resentment, regret, guilt and shame. No matter what mistakes you have made in the past, you can change the future by working on yourself in the present. You can create the loving, nurturing relationships that give purpose to our lives by mastering these seven secrets.