Have you thrown anyone away recently? Someone who works for you, someone in your family, a friend…someone you’re dating or even married to? Did you need to read this to realise you might have?
Relationships can be defined as “a state of connectedness between people”. One can compartmentalize relationships into categories such as work relationships, personal relationship’ all levels and degrees of each. The bottom line is it’s a connection, an association whether by blood, virtue of working with others, new or old friendships or intimate personal relationships. How we respect those relationships determines whether or not they will be sustained, long-term relationships or turn into the superficial ‘have as little to do with these individuals’ interactions.
For some reason, many take relationships for granted to the point where they throw people away. Right now one of the prevalent themes and issues we’re talking about in the private and public sectors is attracting and retaining talent. If we throw people away by not treating people in a respectful manner, retention isn’t possible. In our personal relationships, whether families, couples, or friendships when we take people for granted, treat them with little respect and don’t show others they’re treasured and valued, we are, in essence ‘throwing them away’. When you turn around and realise these people have disappeared from our lives, more often than not, even if you mend ways in some instances, the original relationship can never be recaptured. Trusting that the other person will not revert back to the old ways is near impossible to recapture. And believe me when I tell you if you do revert back to the old ways you won’t have a chance to do that again. The relationship will more often than not be severed.
As I wrote a long time ago in The Trust Building, trust isn’t broken, it’s shattered. That applies to all relationships no matter how they’re defined.
So here’s a wake-up call to those who are reading this….if you take your colleagues, peers and staff for granted and expect a lot with giving them nothing in return, then you can be sure they won’t be supporting you for long. If it’s family and you’ve treated them as insignificant, they will treat you in kind and disappear from your life in all but a superficial way. If it’s a long time friend who you’re taking for granted and are rarely paying attention or not being very nice to, well, before you know it, those people will have disappeared from your life and you won’t have noticed, well until they’re not there any more. And if it’s someone you’re in a personal relationship with, partner…. spouse, and you stop paying attention, take them for granted and expect they will be there for you by virtue of the connection, they too will disappear and you will have thrown them away. Remember…actions lie louder than words. You can promise the moon and the stars and never come through with anything but your actions will speak volumes. Blame them for running the other way if you want, but the responsibility lies with you.
Donna Karlin CEC, founder of A Better Perspective™ has pioneered the specialized practice of Shadow Coaching™ with over 130 senior organizational leaders in the public and private sectors.
By entering the client’s environment, she works with them in translating awareness into practice, essentially fostering the emergence of the Shadow Coach™ in the clients themselves. Donna uses an adaptable and comprehensive approach in working with her clients. She uses a unique structure that enables her to understand individuals and their worlds sufficiently to design coaching that shifts their developmental level. Her coaching attends to the individual, social, relational and environmental aspects of her client's ‘world’. It is an integral approach that results in the client developing a deeper, more comprehensive sense of themselves and their place in their organization and the world as a whole. Through her unique approach, Donna works with clients to achieve individual and organizational excellence.
Principal of A Better Perspective™, Ms. Karlin has worked for over 23 years as a coach and trainer with clients in Canada, the US and abroad in the business/corporate sector, political Federal Ministries, government departments and agencies and the medical community.
Donna’s work has been written up in Fast Company Magazine, The National Post (Financial Post), The Globe and Mail, The New York Times Business Section, The Boston Globe as well as in numerous online articles including BusinessListening.com, The Training Report, and SelfGrowth.com. She has written two eBooks, ‘The Power to Decide: An Executive’s Guide to Conquering a Chaotic Day’ and ‘Climbing Out of the Meeting Pit: Smart Meetings for Smart Leaders’ and has recently co-authored the best selling book ‘101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life’ with Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy and Jim Rohn. Her blog Perspectives™ is subscribed to by readers from 99 countries and territories. As well, Donna is a chosen key contributor to the new weblog execuBooks Blog which presents “current thinking by the best minds in business” around the world, writes a weekly column for Fast Company Experts called “Jumping Into the Deep End of Leadership”, writes a blog for Microsoft Unified Collaborations Group Vision Team and is a new columnist for Canadian Government Executive Magazine.
She has a proven track record in developing leadership and managing change.