1. Nobody knows why anybody does anything. (Imagine the time this one will free up). You don’t need to figure out what happened to Aunt Bertha as a child to make her so mean and crabby; why your spouse dumped you or why your neighbor ignores you. We humans are a product of our upbringing; environment, genetics and hormones. Each one of us is a genetic and environmental soup. We do what we do when we do it. So let it go. It’s not always about you.
2. Nobody owes you a thing. When you think about all the time, love and attention it took to get where you are today you’ll see that you can never repay the debt. Your mother and father who raised you, your teachers who pushed and believed in you, your friends who supported you, your community which nurtures you. Question is – what have you given back in return?
3. You’ll be balanced when you’re dead; not a moment sooner. Balance, schmalanace. We chase it like the Holy Grail. What’s the big deal if you work too hard some weeks and goof off others? If you’re passionate about something maybe you’d rather have more of it in your life. Your kids won’t knock over a bank if you miss a few softball practices. Exercise is overrated and TV’s not evil incarnate.
4. Multi-tasking is an oxymoron. Don’t be intimidated by colleagues who do five things at once. Studies on “Attentional Blink” show that we don’t actually do more than one thing at a time. We switch our attention rapidly between projects. A one man band plays many instruments passably, but none well. Better to be a maestro than a journeyman. Pay attention. Do one thing at a time and do it well.
5. You don’t deserve anything you have. See # 2. Entitlement is a very unattractive quality. No matter how hard you worked or how much you planned for your success, you were never in control of the outcome of your efforts. God and luck and the support of others, alongside your own hard work, played big parts.
6. You’re ordinary. Relax, it’s a compliment. Ordinary people are reliable, industrious and consistent. Superstars are a pain in the rear, especially when they read their own press. Who would you rather call at 2 AM when your car breaks down - Tony Robbins or your brother-in-law, Al? Imagine the ride home.
7. You’re not a victim, you’re a volunteer. (Unless we’re talking about a trainwreck or a typhoid epidemic). The old saw about nobody being able to take advantage of you without your permission is true. If you don’t want something to happen in your life don’t set it up in the first place. Nothing gets in without your permission.
8. Life isn’t fair; so what. If it's not fair to you it's not fair to anyone else, so at least you have a level playing field. Life is always interesting and instructive if you keep an open mind.
9. There is no meantime. There is no place where time stands still and standards are lowered and second best is good enough. There’s only now. What are you going to do now?
10. Gratefulness is second to Godliness. Cleanliness is waaay down the list. Get down on your knees and take a good hard look at your life. Oh, the places you’ll go!
Author's Bio
Mary Rosendale is a Writer, Certified Constructive Living Instructor and Life Coach. She designed and teaches "The Constructed Life" program. Her philosophy and work are rooted in her appreciation, and committed practice, of Zen Buddhism. Visit her on the web at www.TheConstructedLife.com
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